Saturday, 24 January 2015

Laffin' at Tony Abbott

SBS The Backburner 19 January 2015:

Prime Minister Tony Abbott has been left red-faced after being unable to stop an unexpected leak pouring out of his cabinet this weekend.

The leak, which is causing major structural damage, first became an issue following the repeal of changes to medicare. As of the time of publishing it is unclear what is causing the leak or exactly where it is coming from.

“I just got this cabinet,” said a distraught Abbott. “I don’t understand what’s happening. They just don’t make things like they used to. What happened to infrastructure in this country? Was it me? Did I happen?”

“It’s not stopping either. I thought for a moment some plumber had stuck a pipe straight into it or something. It’s ruining the carpet.”…….

By day it sits on Tony's head. By night, it's a crime fighting patriot who protects our streets from terrorists and dole bludgers.

Tony Abbott’s comb over discussed on Twitter:

Tony Abbott asks the Queen, “Your Majesty, you run such an efficient government.
Are there any tips you can give me?”
“Well,” said the Queen,
“The most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.”
Abbott then asked,
“But how do I know if the people around me are really intelligent?”
The Queen took a sip of champagne.
“Oh, that’s easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle, watch”
The Queen pushed a button on her intercom.
“Please send Prince Charles in here, would you?”
Prince Charles walked into the room and said,
“Yes, Mummy?”
The Queen smiled and said,
“Answer me this please Charlie.
Your mother and father have a child.
It is not your brother and it is not your sister.
Who is it?”
Without pausing for a moment, Prince Charles answered
“That would be me.”
“Yes! Very good.” said the Queen.
Tony Abbott went back home to Australia by Qantas
He decided to ask Joe Hockey the same question.
“Joe, answer this for me.”
“Your mother and your father have a child.
It’s not your brother and it’s not your sister.
Who is it?”
“I’m not sure,” said Hockey.
“Let me get back to you on that one.”
He went to his advisors and asked everyone, but none could give him an answer.
Frustrated, Hockey went to the toilet, and found Clive Palmer there.
Joe Hockey went up to him and asked,
“Hey Clive, see if you can answer this question.”
“Shoot Joe.”
Your mother and father have a child and it’s not your brother or your sister.
Who is it?”
Clive Palmer answered,
“That’s easy, it’s me!”
Joe Hockey grinned, and said,
“Good answer Clive, I see it all now!”
Joe Hockey then went back to find Tony Abbott.
“Tony, I thought about it, and I have the answer to that riddle.”
“It’s Clive Palmer”
Tony Abbott got up, stomped over to Joe Hockey, and angrily yelled into his face,
“No! You idiot! It’s Prince Charles!”

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