Most unusual job vacancy advertisement

This digital copy of a newspaper clipping came to me via an email link to http://www.whaleoil.co.nz/2013/02/situations-vacant-4/.

The tongue-in-cheek job vacancy appears to be from a UK publication, but hopefully someone has suggested to Cardinal George Pell that he send in his curriculum vitae – it sounds as though he fits the selection criteria down right down to the final infallibility clause.

The End is Nigh?

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Does Tony Abbott have permission to use a comb-over?

 

Well Australian Opposition Leader Tony Abbott’s comb-over is now almost complete and well on the way to full bouffant.

 

However, the question remains – did he seek permission or is he in danger of breaching a 1977 patent?

 

Will there be a judicial inquiry into this hair-raising issue?

 

 Patent number: 4022227

 

Singing for her supper - a little blogger light relief

 

 

http://youtu.be/ljKE_hugFfc

 

Photobombed by an Antarctic seal

Mission of Mermaids ‏@MissionMermaids

Even our sea creatures have a sense of humorhttp://fb.me/LHAoxsIV 

 

Exraterrestrial life on the horizon? Don't pick up the phone to ET!

 

A little light-hearted entertainment from the BBC:

 

The BBC's star science presenter Brian Cox thought he might have a scoop on his hands when he trained his telescope at a newly discovered planet in search of alien life.

But the professor said his hopes for an exclusive were brought back down to earth after he was told by the BBC that impromptu extraterrestrial contact would break health and safety guidelines.

Cox, the former pop star turned particle physicist, wanted to use the Jodrell Bank Observatory in Cheshire to listen in to the planet, Threapleton Holmes B, on his BBC2 series Stargazing Live.

"We decided that we'd point the Jodrell Bank telescope at the planet that had been discovered by these two viewers and listen because no one had ever pointed a radio telescope at it and you never know," said Cox.

"The BBC actually said, 'But you can't do that because we need to go through the regulations and health and safety and everything in case we discover a signal from an alien civilisation'.

"You mean we would discover the first hint that there is other intelligent life in the universe beyond Earth, live on air, and you're worried about the health and safety of it?

"It was incredible. They did have guidelines. Compliance."…..

* Martian cartoon found at Google Images

One thing Seachangers and Treechangers don't miss

Traffic Lights at xkcd.com

DEX blooper - reprints old race fields

The only things correct in the four-page racing lift-out in today's Daily Examiner are the paper's name and the date. Today's Examiner reprinted the race fields for Saturday 8 September.
The events at Warwick Farm, Doomben and Flemington have been well and truly run and won, so the very least readers could have been provided with was a new lot of tips from the paper. But, oh no, the paper had the temerity to print its original, and in most cases losing, tips.
Who went to sleep at the wheel steering the good ship DEX last night? Was it the night helmsman or the captain? C'mon, who's going to put their hand up and claim bragging rights for this little ripper at the annual Xmas party? Perhaps a stewards inquiry is needed.

10 Signs You May Be An Aussie Red-Neck Tosser

1. You still refer to your life partner as The Wife or The Little Woman and expect her to vote as you do.

2. When it comes to forming an opinion, you believe everything you hear from the resident ‘expert’ at local golf, bowling, RSL, Rotary, and Lions clubs.

3. You’re so Green-averse that peas, beans and broccoli are banned from the dinner plate.

4. Even though you live in town and rarely go bush, you own two hunting rifles and enough ammo to start a small war.

5. You really believe that there is a female first name spelt JuLIAR.

6. Listening to radio shock jocks like Alan Jones and Ray Hadley are a favourite pastime.

7. You just know there IS a world-wide conspiracy by climate scientists and it’s aimed directly at you and your wallet.

8. You accept the notion that Australian democracy as we know it died on the 1^st July 2012 when national carbon pricing and the mining tax commenced.

9. You think Andrew Bolt knows what he’s talking about and are one of the dwindling band who watch his television show.

10. A portrait of Opposition Leader Tony Abbott hangs in the family room at home.

Oh, Jeremy!

Jeremy Buckingham‏ @greensjeremy

Have one or two for me @johnkgreens At launch of Cruelty Free shop in Glebe Pt Rd. Vegan teats galore plus @clovermoore http://campl.us/kq7P

Think he meant treats, don't you?

At home with The Dollipotts

Yamba food store launches Red Granny Smith Apples

Yamba, the Number 1 town in Australia, can lay claim to yet another first.

One of its food stores advertised in a free local newspaper this week that it has Granny Smith apples on special. But, wait for it ... the apples are very special ... they're red Granny Smiths. At just 99 cents a kg they have to be the steal of the week.

Memo to Demographer Extraordinaire Bernard Salt

Hey Bernie,
Households in the Lower Clarence area will be without power from 10.00pm tonight until 6.00am on Sunday as a result of Essential Energy's planned outage while it installs a new 66,000 volt ring feeder which is supposed to greatly increase the security of electricity supply in the region.

While some are whingeing about not having the opportunity to see Aussie nag Black Caviar run in the Diamond Jubilee Stakes at Royal Ascot, many others are thought to be planning on doing what many did in the good old days before the box in the corner of the lounge room became commonplace.

Apparently, health officials have already taken the red pen to next year's calendar and struck out a period of time when all leave will be cancelled. That action's required to ensure all hands are on deck when the boom in newborns is anticipated.

So, Bernie, make sure you factor in tonight's event when explaining demographic changes in 2013.

Daily Examiner subeditors asleep at their desks

Want further evidence that APN's Daily Examiner is is in a rush to get to the bottom of the barrel? The schoolboy howlers shown below appeared on the paper's front page on Friday and its website, respectively.

Sample 1:

Sample 2:

However, to the Examiner's credit, it still has a bit to go before it hits rock bottom. When we see it printing things such as those included in a piece in The Melbourne Argus on 6 July 1940 (see below) we'll know it's arrived at that destination.

Credit: The Melbourne Argus, 6/10/1940 courtesy of the National Library of Australia's Trove



Who farted in the pool? Was it Jan or Shirley? No one will ever know if you don't tell us.

That, readers, is the Coffs Coast Advocate's novel way of getting readers to provide it with newsworthy events. The Advocate gets top marks today for that one.

Sorry Mum, The Devil Made Me Do It!

Latest revelation - Christopher Pyne’s reveals his true opinion of Teh Rabbit here.

Backyard chemistry can be fun

http://youtu.be/hKoB0MHVBvM

Scoop Teh Northern Territory News Missed!

Has ‘Planet America’ been invaded by aliens?

L: Minature alien spaceship as it begins

approach to Chas Licciardello’s right ear

R: Same alien craft as it exits by

Chas Licciardello’s left ear

*Gasp* *Horror* Will Chas survive?

... you can get everything else on ebay!

ebay = the solution finder

This one popped up in a friend's ebay window.

Looking for female friends around Yamba/Grafton area May 16, 2012 12:44 AM

hi im a 32 yr old female looking for other females around my area to hang out with. No guys as i have one. well you can get everything else on ebay! A reply: I don't live near you but was up that way a couple of weeks back. You live in a beautiful spot!!! Maybe the best way to go is to try and join some local groups or volunteer somewhere to meet other people. Good luck

Strange coincidence

The stars must have been aligned this week for nit nose pickers. First, Jason Chatfield's Ginger Meggs appeared in Wednesday's Daily Examiner:

Then, Dr Joan Croll had this piece in the letters columns of The Sydney Morning Herald:

Credits: www.gingermeggs.com   The Sydney Morning Herald