Classic Aussie Blackboard Advertising

Courtesy of Aunty ABC

Google Maps: Going to Whoop Whoop via Wollongong anyone?

Alerted on 3rd January by @R_Chirgwin Google Maps has to be taking the piss this time: http://t.co/yEZKWRqz, it became obvious that Goggle Maps was having a bit of a 2012 breakdown.

By 6th January the Pacific Highway had virtually disappeared as a desired route to anyway along the NSW east coast:

According to ABC North Coast News:

Drivers travelling between Sydney and the Queensland border are being steered inland.

A Google Maps request for directions between Sydney and Byron Bay recommends an inland route through Armidale and Tenterfield, rather than the more direct Pacific Highway trip.

Transport Management Centre spokesman David Wright says he is aware of the problem.

"The issue we're experiencing is due to a third-party map provider which does have some routing issues at the moment," he says.

The welfare status of live cattle exported to Indonesia

After the May 2011 revelations that all was not well in relation to the export of Australian live cattle to Indonesia and the discovery that instances of animal cruelty were occurring at certain abattoirs, the Federal Government sought to develop a new supply chain assurance framework.

This involved the requirement for ESCAS independent Audits of Indonesian feedlots and abattoirs which held/fattened/ processed Australian cattle.

One has to commend the Gillard Government for this action and note that it was more than the former Howard Government.

However, the usefulness of the framework may be limited due to the lack of transparency within these independent audits (which includes extensive black pen censorship) and, the fact that one of the more common sentences contained in these audits to date is a comfortably fuzzy observation which tells Australian citizens and their parliamentary representatives absolutely nothing about the current welfare status of these live cattle:

Click on image to enlarge

SAI Global Limited and its wholly-owned Indonesian subsidiary PT SAI Global Indonesia which conduct these audits may have to be re-educated as to the dictionary meaning of the words transparent, open and honest.

Perhaps this is something for Minister for Agriculture, Fisheries and Forestry Joe Ludwig and his department head can look into before the situation deteriorates.

View from the far side of American politics

2012 U.S. Presidential Election – Republican Pre-selection Race - Iowa Caucus frontrunners in as few words as possible......

Rick Santorum
Conservative, Catholic, Creationist, Climate Change denier, Included in CREW Most Corrupt Members of Congress list in 2006, Former U.S. Congressman and two-term U.S. Senator sacked by voters in 2006,  Lawyer, Energy industry consultant and former FOX NEWS contracted contributor, Endorsed by Rupert Murdoch, Described Wikileaks as being led by a terrorist, Annual income estimated at around $1 million, 53 years old, IQ debatable.

Mitt Romney

Conservative, Mormon, Pro-Lifer, Climate Change sceptic, More policy positions than the Karma Sutra, One-term Massachusetts Governor 2003-2007 then retired, Former private equity dealer, Biotech multinational Monsanto & Co a former client, Endorsed by John McCain, Refuses to publicly release his tax returns & allegations of tax evasion, Personal wealth estimated at $250 million, 64 years old, IQ debatable.

A Christian view of domestic violence [exit laughing cynically]

The Canberra Times reports on U.S. evangelical creationist Jack Chick's hateful Chick Publications, 4 January 2012:

The pamphlet, entitled Is Allah Like You?, depicts an Islamic man who abuses his wife and son until he converts to Christianity and learns the error of his ways.

I wager that comforts the millions of women and children, down the centuries and up to this very minute, who have suffered domestic violence at the hands of ‘good’ Christian men.

CLC Christian Bookworld Australasia and ELE Trust of Queensland and Word Bookstores of Victoria should be ashamed of selling this arrant nonsense.

Mrs Gaddafi calling for your help

Gawd bless us! It’s supposed to be Gaddafi’s rich missus begging for help in the latest scam email doing the rounds. Pity ‘she’ has such trouble remembering how to spell the family surname……………..

I am Mrs. Safia Farkash Gaddafi the wife of the late Libyan Leader Colonel Muammar Gahdafi, I  have funds worth Million Dollars with a Bank in one of our neighbouring country whose name is withheld for now until we open communication. If you are capable of handling this funds, get back to me with your consent and I will explain in details the procedures and percentage of sharing.

Please note that honesty is the watch word in this transaction. I will require your telephone and I will greatly appreciate if you accept my proposal in good faith.

I appreciate your timely suggestion and interest over this matter

Best Regards

Mrs. Safia Farkash Gaddafi

Email:safiagaddafi71@gmail.com

"Moggy Musings" [Archived material by Boy the Wonder Cat]

A rumoured whiff of corruption musing: Which Clarence Valley local currently housed at Her Majesty's pleasure is allegedly having his government-subsidised NCCHC social housing held indefinitely for him because he has family connections in the Commonwealth welfare bureaucracy?

A Clarence by-election musing: One young puss who sometimes calls round to flirt with me says her owner thinks his choice on 19th November isn't a matter of Nats or Labor, but rather one of Greens or Labor - Labor or Greens. Wonder how many other voters are giving the Nats a miss?

An economic credibility musing: Word around the catnip patch is that a certain politically incorrect local wag is asking "If the Greeks are such bad economic managers, why would we vote for one in Clarence?"

A still chortling musing: Word is that former Nats MP Steve Cansdell is handing out business cards with the motto Get elected, stay elected.

An it's only a rumour, but... musing: My little canine friend Veronica Lake swears her hoomins heard that when the then NSW Nats MP for Clarence refused an elector's request, to assist someone currently serving a gaol sentence, he said it was because the person involved was a "crook". Ronnie wants to know what could a disgraced former MP (who admitted to signing a false statutory declaration) possibly know about crookedness? ROFLOL!

Bagging supermarket plastic

http://xkcd.com/990/
Click on cartoon to enlarge

Uncle Joe puckers up and blows the first dog whistle of the season

On the 3^rd January 2012 @JoeHockey tweeted that “I warned of this a year ago!!!”

I clicked on the link wondering what financial horror the federal shadow treasurer had uncovered.

The article merely confirmed the bleeding obvious; “Among banks trading in Australia, the major lenders account for 86.7 per cent of the home loan market.
Well, knock me down with a roo’s tail feather!

Now mortgage holders can switch between banks with no financial penalty for doing so, they are still sticking with the big banks.

I wonder why?

Could it possibly be that these aspirational borrowers believe that solid reputations built up over decades or centuries by the banks really matter in periods of global financial uncertainty?

Or did many of them approve of the big banks following the November 2011 example of the Reserve Bank rate cut? After all there was a surge in mortgage lending to first home buyers and investors right after that – mostly within the banking sector.

Were they cheered by the fact that in December all four of the big banks had passed on another rate cut to their borrowers?

Now Uncle Joe likes to blow his dog whistle loudly over Twitter, this time crying out that Teh Big Four are still big!
A few street mutts might even scamper his way. This old mongrel won't be one of them.
I may hail from a long gone time where you actually knew your bank manager and it was the price of our schooners which concerned us all, but for the life of me I can’t see that consumers exercising choice is a problem for the country. Specially those consumers taking out a new mortgage.

Why should they go and pay higher borrowing rates in the non-banking sector just to please Hockey’s notion of how the world should turn?

Running dogs from http://www.halhigdon.com/
Dog cartoon from http://www.webweaver.nu/

In light of the base nature of both the political and corporate classes........

Herewith, a timely reminder to all economic development policy makers and resources industry ‘players’ in 2012.

Excerpt from NSW Parliament Code of Conduct for Members of the Legislative Assembly and the Legislative Council:

2. Bribery

(a) A Member must not knowingly or improperly promote any matter, vote on any bill or resolution or ask any question in the Parliament or its Committees in return for any remuneration, fee, payment, reward or benefit in kind, of a private nature, which the member has received, is receiving or expects to receive.

(b) A Member must not knowingly or improperly promote any matter, vote on any bill or resolution or ask any question in the Parliament or its Committees in return for any remuneration, fee, payment, reward or benefit in kind, of a private nature, which any of the following persons has received, is receiving or expects to receive:

(i) A member of the Member’s family;

(ii) A business associate of the Member; or

(iii) Any other person or entity from whom the Member expects to receive a financial benefit.

(c) A breach of the prohibition on bribery constitutes a substantial breach of this Code of Conduct.

Excerpt from the NSW Independent Commission Against Corruption website:

Corrupt conduct, as defined in the Independent Commission Against Corruption Act 1988, is deliberate or intentional wrongdoing, not negligence or a mistake. It has to involve or affect a NSW public official or public sector organisation.

While it can take many forms, corrupt conduct occurs when:

·     a public official improperly uses, or tries to improperly use, the knowledge, power or resources of their position for personal gain or the advantage of others

·     a public official acts dishonestly or unfairly, or breaches public trust

·     a member of the public influences, or tries to influence, a public official to use his or her position in a way that is dishonest, biased or breaches public trust.

The NSW community expects public officials to perform their duties with honesty and in the best interests of the public. Corrupt conduct by a public official involves a breach of public trust that can lead to inequality, wasted resources or public money and reputational damage…..

The full definition of corruption which applies to the ICAC is detailed in sections 7, 8 and 9 of the ICAC Act.

I note that as yet the Commonwealth Parliament of Australia has not created A Code of Conduct for Members of Parliament nor created the promised Parliamentary Integrity Commissioner. Nevertheless there are avenues open to deal with corrupt conduct within that institution.

A New Year's Honours List conceit

Newspapers typically report that those receiving an honour from Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II are astonished to hear they have been gonged in some way – it came out of the blue and dropped on the doorstep with an unexpected thump which woke the sleeping household.

You’ve gotta love the conceit of that myth.

This is how it really goes for one ‘fictitious’ couple…….

Mr. Far Right and his spouse Hyacinth decide that another honour is needed to boost his profile and his worth on the international freeloader circuit.

Both begin discreet inquiries about what might be on offer for former politicians of his lack of stature.

Both even more discreetly let it be known that he would like one of those honorific titles – say a mere trifle like The Most Noble Order of the Garter, The Most Ancient and Noble Order of the Thistle or The Most Honourable Order of the Bath.

Hyacinth takes the lead in ferreting out suitable sponsors, while the pukka Mr. Far Right pretends to step back as is right and proper.

Once these sponsors (who might expect favours or bonbons in return) take up the cudgel on Mr. Far Right’s behalf, he and Hyacinth begin crafting the required novella which lays out the reasons he should receive a Great Big Gong.

Armed with what is now a mini-version of “War and Peace” the sponsors lay siege to the Royal Household and British Establishment until Her Maj consents to give Mr. Far Right what he wants, or a close consolation prize like the newfangled Order of Merit for which all citizens of Commonwealth countries are eligible for appointment.

The sponsors privately prepare the grasping couple for the inevitable disappointment, by assuring them that if Mr. Far Right fills a dead woman's shoes to even up the OAM numbers it is bound to lead on to further glory in the near future.

Buckingham Palace then formally notifies Mr. Far Right of his consolation prize. Hyacinth brews a new pot of Earl Grey and she and Mr. Far Right hit the phone to the family and one or two close friends – swearing all to absolute secrecy and pretending that he didn’t really want just a little of what his hero, Teh Mighty Ming, wore on his ample chest.
Reflecting that this gong means that she and hubbie will get to have tea with the Queen every so often and that her beloved will have his portrait drawn and hung (no quartering allowed thank you very much), Hyacinth wets her knickers.

The day before the Honours List is formally announced someone close to Mr. Far Right informs select media of the totally unexpected news and indicates a suitable time for photo ops and quotable gems.

Come the day of the announcement, Mr. Far Right (having washed the brown substance off the end of his nose) acts humble and surprised on finding himself in a group which includes his political opposites - Sir David Attenborough who is a passionate lobbyist for an international response to climate change and Nelson Mandela who steadfastly opposed South Africa's apartheid system.
Australia gives a bored yawn as it watches Mr. Far Right on the tellie that night telling the world he is trooly rooly touched.

Pic of Order of Merit found at Buck House website

Queensland genetically modified bananas anyone?

Is Genetically modified becoming something of a dirty term with the Australian general public?

Putting two and two together it is obvious that the Queensland University of Technology tried very hard to avoid both the GMO acronym and again naming its funding source as the Grand Challenges in Global Health (GCGH) Initiative - which was launched as a health initiative by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, which is in turn is associated with Monsanto & Co through its shareholdings in that notorious biotech giant.

ABC NEWS 22 December 2011:

Microsoft founder Bill Gates has met Queensland scientists who are trying to develop better bananas for Africa's sub-Saharan region.

The philanthropist has invested $10 million in banana research in recent years through his foundation's global health program.

Successful field trials have been carried out at Innisfail, south of Cairns, in the state's far north.

Professor James Dale, from the Queensland University of Technology, says he was pleased to update Mr Gates and his wife during their visit to Cairns last week…….

Unfortunately for UTS the Office of the Gene Technology Regulator reveals what is was hoping to cover with a little bit of verbal smoke:

* This post is part of North Coast Voices' effort to keep Monsanto's blog monitor (affectionately known as Mr. Monsanto) in long-term employment.

Are we safe? Can I come out from under the bed yet?

“Nothing bad will happen to the Earth in 2012. Our planet has been getting along just fine for more than 4 billion years, and credible scientists worldwide know of no threat associated with 2012.” {National Aeronautics and Space Administration}

I’m getting in early to back NASA’s take on the Doomsday scenario being touted for 21 December 2012 – before those chain emails telling me my end is nigh according to the Bible or the Mayan Calendar begin to arrive in tiresome droves.

For those who would rather enjoy the thrill of the scare, here is a Wikipedia list of the joyful hand of the great bearded father in the sky mass extinction event possibilities awaiting us over the next twelve months, two years, decade, century or wad eva…..

·         A sudden change in the physical constants governing the universe, such as that created by a vacuum metastability event.^[2]

·         A close approach of a black hole to the solar system.^[3]

·         A gamma ray burst or other devastating blast of cosmic radiation.^[4] One especially deadly hypothesized source is a hypernova, produced when a hypergiant star explodes and then collapses, sending vast amounts of radiation sweeping across hundreds of lightyears. Hypernovas have never been observed; however, a hypernova may have been the cause of the Ordovician–Silurian extinction events. The nearest hypergiant is Eta Carinae, approximately 8,000 light-years distant.

·         A drastic and unusual decrease or increase in Sun's power output; a solar superstorm leading to partial or complete electrical or technological death of human civilization. (See solar flare.)

·         Abrupt geomagnetic reversal and/or drastic decrease of magnetic field of the planet Earth. Consequences can be the same as in the cases of cosmic radiation or solar radiation blasts.

·         The solar system passing through a cosmic dust cloud, leading to a severe global climate change.^[5]

·         An abrupt repositioning of Earth rotation axis.^[6] It could be caused by extremely powerful internal geological or/and external cosmic factors. If it happens abruptly (and not slowly within a very prolonged interval of time) it will generate enormous multiple earthquakes, multiple volcano eruptions, a hypercane or multiple megacyclones, giant tidal waves and megatsunamis all around the globe.

·         An impact event causing a collision (or extremely close passage) of a large meteorite, asteroid or comet. A common theory postulates that the extinction of the dinosaurs occurred approximately 65 million years ago as a result of the Cretaceous–Tertiary extinction event when a large asteroid struck the earth, producing atmospheric dust which blocked solar energy and caused a significant lowering of temperatures worldwide ("nuclear winter"). Evidence for this theory includes a sedimentary layer of iridium in the geological record and a large crater in the area of Chicxulub, Mexico. The Tunguska event (1908) was on a much smaller scale. In the case of a close passage of an object (a large asteroid, comet or planet) with a significant gravitational impact on Earth, the consequences could be the same as in the case of an abrupt repositioning of Earth rotation axis. And such a repositioning of the axis would not necessarily have to take place for the earth to see the same global effects.

·         A geological event such as massive flood basalt, volcanism, or the eruption of a supervolcano^[7] leading to the so called Volcanic Winter (Similar to a Nuclear Winter). One such event, the Toba Eruption,^[8] occurred in Indonesia about 71,500 years ago. According to the Toba catastrophe theory,^[9] the event may have reduced human populations to only a few tens of thousands of individuals. Yellowstone Caldera is another such supervolcano, having undergone 142 or more caldera-forming eruptions in the past 17 million years.^[10] Massive volcano eruption(s) will produce extraordinary intake of volcanic dust, toxic and greenhouse gases into the atmosphere with serious effects on global climate (towards extreme global cooling (nuclear winter when in short term and ice age when in long term) or global warming (if greenhouse gases prevail)).

·         An exceptionally devastating hypercane^[11] probably combined with global dust storm, taking up to the atmosphere enormous quantities of dust.

·         A global pandemic (assuming that the causing agent of the pandemic would have a natural origin) with very high or even 100% mortality rate.^[12] ………..

·         A global pandemic with very high or even 100% mortality rate caused by a human-made infectious agent, which could be released among population on purpose. The source could be an individual, a laboratory workers group, a terrorist group, governmental or international organization.

·         A nuclear, chemical, or biological war. A "softer" and "stealthier" case of each of these three types of warfare could be nuclear, chemical, or biological terrorism. Again the source could be an individual, a laboratory workers group, a terrorist group, religious zealots, governmental or international organization.

·         A grey goo scenario, in which self-replicating machines (often imagined to be nanomachines) get out of control and indiscriminately consume all kinds of matter in the process of building more replicas of themselves, eventually making earth inhospitable for biological life altogether.  

A note of caution - none of the above will impress the boss as a good reason for not turning up to work this week.
I wouldn't try to convert your local priest, pastor or rebbe either as that might see them leading you into A&E for a quick scan of the ol' brain box.