This telephone exchange would be funny if not for the fact that versions of it are repeated every day.
From the pages of NO HELP Not Always Working:
(I have just checked my credit report for the first time, and notice a store credit card I had never opened. I call the credit company to report this.)
Me: “My report lists a delinquent account on a [store] credit card. I’ve never had a card with that store.”
CSR: “It says here the account was opened in 1974.”
Me: “Well, that must be a mistake. I wasn’t born until 1978.”
CSR: “Could you have opened the account and then forgotten about it?”
Me: “…I’m going to need to speak to someone else.”