'New-look' Libs still flirt with the political dark side according to Clarence Valley media

The new Liberal Party leadership team are not to enjoy a honeymoon period in the Clarence Valley.

Yesterday's editorial in The Daily Examiner took the Liberal Party and Brendan Nelson to task for the continuing refusal to say sorry to indigenous Australians.

 

Saying of the Liberal Party attitude: "Even though the wealthiest benefactors/supporters of the Liberals, and the Nationals for that matter, had made their fortunes by dispossessing Aboriginal tribes for two centuries, white Australia was not responsible.----they still flirt with the Hansonites on the political dark side."

 

Many in the Clarence Valley are shocked that this 'new-look' Liberal Party seems to have learnt next to nothing from its recent electoral defeat, and the editor was merely reflecting a growing 

disquiet within the community.

NEWS FLash - John Howard reveals his Christmas destination

Following a conversation with former PM, John Howard, NCV is able to reveal startling "relevations" (sic) [yep! that exactly how JWH put it] about where he will be on Christmas Day.

NCV can confirm that JWH WILL NOT be spending Christmas with the Doug Anthony All Stars.

Avid JWH fans ... watch this space.

Former PM admits he's been getting his dates mixed up

Exclusive

North Coast Voices has had the luxury of a private viewing of former PM John Howard's diary entries.

JWH said his diary will be heavily used when he appears on the public speaking scene in town and country halls across the country in the New Year. However JWH confided to NCV that he hasn't had any luck in securing the services of an agent who would be prepared to take him under its wing and organise what he is very confident would be a block busting success.

Should he fail to appear on the public speaking scene by Easter, JWH said he would opt for the far more lucrative option of going straight to the big screen and produce and direct a movie about himself.

JWH said he figured a public speaking tour was the very least he should do in order to repay his followers across the breadth of this great nation. In an aside, JWH remarked that he thought the many public appearances he could make would provide him with ideal opportunities to use the blanket appeal strategy and collect any loose coins and folding money his mates had left. "My finances are not what some people say they are. Living off a mere $300,000 pa will be no easy matter. My good wife and I have become accustomed to a life style that we won't be able to throw away lightly. Why else do you reckon I hung in there tooth and nail?"

When asked how 2007 had unfolded for him, JWH exclaimed, "Drats! I thought, sure as eggs, that 2007 was the Chinese Year of the Rat. In fact, I was so sure of myself I would have put good money on it. Not that I'm a gambling man. No sirreee! I'm a Sunday School goer. Mind you, it wouldn't have been my money anyway because, as you all know, I've had my hand in the public purse for so long that I don't even have a wallet I call my own. After all, why would I need one?"

"I've been the nation's prime rodent for over 11 years. Just quietly, some of my best mates reckon I'm the best lying rodent this nation has ever had. And who am I to argue with them?"

When told 2008 was the Year of the Pig, JWH said that made things a whole lot better for him.
"Phew, that's a big help. I'll be able to use that in my speeches. That'll get me off the hook. I'll tell the good folks out there in voter land I had every right to pork barrel because it was the Year of the Pig."

Our very last Howard poll

In a mood of rollicking good humour, a liquid lunchtime discussion turned to canvassing the ideal place for John Howard to spend his retirement. Transylvania and Iraq both got a mention, as did locations close to George Bush or Maggie Thatcher.

The final list is now up in the North Coast Voices sidebar as a poll. Tell us what you think!