Sunday, 24 July 2016

Domestic Violence - it can happen to anyone

Destroy the Joint, 4 July 2016

Domestic violence takes many forms. It involves violent, abusive or intimidating behaviour carried out by a partner, carer, friend or family member, boyfriend or girlfriend, to control, dominate, humiliate or instil fear.

A person does not need to be married for it to be considered ‘domestic and family violence’.

A person does not need to experience all of these types of abuse for it to be considered domestic or family violence.

Domestic and family violence can include (but is not limited to) the following types of abuse:


» driving dangerously » destruction of property
» abuse of pets in front of family members
» making threats regarding custody of any children » asserting that the police and justice system will not assist, support or believe the victim
» threatening to ‘out’ the person. Emotional
» blaming the victim for all problems in the relationship
» constantly comparing the victim with others to undermine self-esteem and self-worth
» sporadic sulking
» withdrawing all interest and engagement (for example weeks of silence)
» emotional blackmail and suicidal threats.


» systematic isolation from family and friends through techniques such as ongoing rudeness to family and friends to alienate them
» instigating and controlling the move to a location where the victim has no established social circle or employment opportunities
» restricting use of the car or telephone
» forbidding or physically preventing the victim from going out and meeting people.


» forbidding access to bank accounts
» providing only an inadequate ‘allowance’
» not allowing the victim to seek or hold employment
» coercing to sign documents or make false declarations
» using all wages earned by the victim for household expenses
» controlling the victim’s pension
» denying that the victim has an entitlement to joint property.


» direct assault on the body (strangulation or choking, shaking, eye injuries, biting, slapping, pushing, spitting, punching, or kicking)
» use of weapons including objects
» assault of children
» locking the victim in or out of the house
» forcing the victim to take drugs, withholding medication, food or medical care
» sleep deprivation.


» swearing and continual humiliation, either in private or in public
» attacks following clear themes that focus on intelligence, sexuality, body image and capacity as a parent and spouse.


» any form of pressured/unwanted sex or sexual degradation by an intimate partner or ex-partner, such as sexual activity without consent
» causing pain during sex
» assaulting genitals
» coercive sex without protection against pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease
» making the victim perform sexual acts unwillingly (including taking or distributing explicit photos without their consent)
» criticising or using sexually degrading insults.

Harassment and stalking

» following and watching
» telephone and online harassment
» tracking with Global Positioning Systems (GPS)
» being intimidating.

Read the full booklet here.

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