Only an Aussie would have this last word.....

Oh, would that it were true! :-D

The Sydney Morning Herald 25 April 2015:

GAG OF THE WEEK

I know it. You know it. It really was a dark and stormy night. And it was just Tuesday last. Off our east coast, two flashing lights are coming closer and closer, each signalling in Morse code as radio contact can't be established, with the static from the lightning.

First flashing light: "Please change your direction fifteen degrees to north to avoid a collision."

Second flashing light: "Highly recommend you divert your course fifteen degrees to south to avoid a collision."

First flashing light: "This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert your course."

Second flashing light: "No. I say again, you divert your course."

First flashing light: "This is Admiral William Saunders III of the aircraft-carrier Enterprise. We are the largest warship of the US Navy. I command that you divert your course now or face the consequences."

Second flashing light: "This is Joe, the keeper of the Barrenjoey lighthouse. Your call."

Twitter: @Peter_Fitz