You know you're an Aussie when..............

Currently doing the rounds on the Internet.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE AUSTRALIAN WHEN

You believe that stubbies can either be drunk or worn. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something legal such as watering the garden. You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thongs' refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds. You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'. You believe the 'l' in the word 'Australia' is optional. You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas'.

You call your best friend 'a total bastard' but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a bastard'. You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin. You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'.

You believe that cooked down axle grease makes a good breakfast spread - you've squeezed it through Vita Weats to make little Vegemite worms. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis. Beetroot with your Hamburger... of course! You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again' And 'Living next door to Alice'. You wear ugg boots outside the house. You believe that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off for a pittance.

You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language. You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, While 'scuse me' is always polite. You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose. You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle and a seat belt buckle becomes a pretty good branding iron. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac Cookies'.

You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'. When working in a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer. You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in "o": arvo, combo, garbo, kero, lezzo, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto, goodo etc... You know that there is a universal place called 'woop woop' located in the middle of nowhere, no matter where you actually are! You know that none of us actually drink Fosters beer, because it tastes like piss.

You sleep with Aeroguard on in the summer and don't mind it as a perfume. You've only ever used the words - tops, ripper, sick, mad, sweet, to mean "good" and when you place 'bloody' in front of it then you really mean it. You know that the barbecue is a political arena. You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not. You understand what no wucking furries means. You've drank your tea/coffee/milo through a Tim Tam. You own a Bond's chesty - in several different colours.

You know that some people pronounce Australia like "Straya" and that's ok. And you will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand!

Not happy B0F! The Clarence electorate responds to Cansdell's get-out-of-gaol-free card in NSW

By bandicoot from Palmers Island,

Rather strange that this stat. dec. was acceptable to get him off after breaking a state-based law but not good enough to charge him!

By bertson from Yamba,

What a neat little loophole for Mr Cansdell! Was he advised - perhaps by some of his police friends - to use a Commonwealth stat. dec.? And why has it taken over five months for anybody to point it out? Something very fishy here!

By yambaproud from Yamba,

No wonder so many were lining up for the Nationals pre-selection, it apparently comes with it's very own 'Get Out of Jail Free" card.

By yambaman from Yamba,

Well there you have it - 40 odd comments (compared to the usual 2 or 3 on normal issues) and none supporting Steve Candell - get the message government?

An absolute disgrace - the guy has admitted to a lie and isn't charged - now that destroys all of the public's faith in the judicial system - no politician is exempt, in fact all pollies must adhere to a higher level of accountability than ordinary citizens and yet here we have a perfect example of pollies doing the reverse!

By Jonnny2b from Maclean,

Deceit by people we trust why do we accept it?
We all know Steve Cansdell committed a crime and now the DPP says no charges.
They must be sitting back laughing at us.

The Daily Examiner online polling on 8 March 2012:

It must be true - it's on the Internet! according to one NSW climate change contrarian

One example of climate change contrarianism found in a Sydney Morning Herald report on 6 March 2012 where the financial trigger is more than obvious:

But a property developer, Jeff McCloy, said he was contemplating leading a class action suit against the council, which he said was ''falling for this unjustified, worldwide idiocy about sea level rises''.

Mr. McCloy recently arranged for climate change sceptics Ian Plimer, Bob Carter and David Archibald to address residents and councillors,…..

Mr. McCloy is seeking to gain approval for a subdivision of 24 homes that is likely to be affected by the Lake Macquarie planning guidelines…..

He said he had studied sea level rise on the internet and concluded it was rising at only a very slow rate, and that rate had slowed in the past decade, so any planning restrictions were unjustified.

As the Lake Macquarie mayor has observed; "Jeff is unashamedly a climate change sceptic and he won't be swayed, but he expects other people will be swayed by him" .

He is also Chairman of the McCloy Group which says of itself that it is a Hunter-based property group with a diversified portfolio of commercial and residential assets. Our portfolio currently holds more than 21,000 m2 of commercial office space in the heart of Newcastle’s CBD, attracting long-term, quality tenants, including Telstra, The Wests Group and Wesfarmers’ subsidiary, Blackwoods. The McCloy Group is staging construction of over 1,600 council-approved residential lots geographically spread in the Hunter. And we have almost 2,000 lots in the pipeline.

That he is seeking to publicly pressure Lake Macquarie Council and the NSW O’Farrell Government at this time probably has some relationship with the fact that Lake Macquarie Council has recently reviewed its  Draft Lake Macquarie Waterway Flood Study (2012) and Draft Lake Macquarie Waterway Flood Risk Management Study and Plan (2012) to include the effects of predicted sea level rises to the year 2100.

During this review climate change contrarians and local residents received a fair hearing in the community consultation phase (more than 90% of workshop participants were residents who own foreshore properties that are vulnerable to flooding and sea level rise) and it appears no additional properties were identified as affected by flood or sea level rise.

So it would appear that Mr. McCloy already knew his own residential property was in an ‘at risk’ area and his present concerns are purely commercial in nature.

Sadly the McCloy Group stance is typical of developers operating along the NSW coast.

What is it with these rednecks from over the range?

The Daily Examiner on the 5^th March 2012 ran with this:

“A PROPOSED two-way railway line from Moree to Yamba could ease the bottleneck experienced by coal exporters in north-west NSW, its proponents say.

Preliminary plans are afoot to build a two-way double-height railway line from Moree to Goodwood Island to speed the export of coal from the Gunnedah coal basin and overcome the congestion in the state's two major coal ports - Port Kembla and Newcastle.

According to one proponent, Inverell Shire councillor and civil engineer David Jones, it would require a 12m deep channel to be dredged from the river mouth at Yamba to a fully redeveloped Goodwood Island about 5km upriver.

The channel is around 4m deep at low tide.

The total cost of the ambitious project is estimated at $6 billion.

Though the proposal is in its infancy and has been touted and dismissed in the past, funding ($1-$2 million) is being sought by the northern inland committee of Regional Development Australia (RDA, NINSW) to complete a feasibility study on the idea.

It is being championed by RDA, NINSW chairman Mal Peters, who is also the head of the newly established Regional Institute, a former NSW Farmers president and mayor of Inverell…”

A 12m deep dredge field all the way up to Goodwood Island? In one of the best family tourism and fishing areas on the NSW North Coast? 
It's a safe bet that the Yaegl community won't be too impressed with this plan either as the Dirrangun Reef spiritual site is smack bang in the firing line.

What is it with these New England rednecks? First they want to steal our fresh water and now they want to permanently wreck the lower Clarence River.

Fair dinkum – it’s enough to make a bloke chunder!

I agree with Clarence Valley Mayor Richie Williamson - "In the words of Darryl Kerrigan (in The Castle), 'tell 'em they're dreaming' - it's not going to happen".

Steven Rhett Cansdell, retired NSW Nationals MP. The story so far....

In 2003 Nationals candidate Stephen Rhett Cansdell was elected to the NSW Parliament representing the Clarence electorate.

In 2005 he was caught on a Roads & Traffic Authority camera, driving in excess of the speed limit on the Pacific Highway at Woodburn NSW.

He subsequently made a false statement to a NSW Government agency in order to avoid losing his driving license. This false statement was made in a signed statutory declaration presented to that agency.

A part-time member of his electoral staff was allegedly induced to falsely agree that she had been driving the car when it was caught by the speed camera.

In 2007 he was elected to the NSW Parliament for a second time and in March 2011 he was returned as the Member for Clarence for the third time.

In between that time, he reportedly went on to lose his licence in 2009 after he was pulled over for doing 100kmh in an 80kmh zone at Clarenza. [The Daily Examiner,7 October 2011]

In April 2011 Cansdell publicly attacked a Local Court magistrate hearing charges relating to the Yamba riot, calling him pissweak and his decision a total travesty of justice. [North Coast Voices, 15 April 2011 and ABC North Coast NSW,13 April 2011]

On 16 September 2011 Steve Cansdell resigned his seat and, his position as Parliamentary Secretary for Police and Member of the Legislative Assembly Committee on Economic Development.

He left with the full financial benefits accruing to a Member of the NSW Legislative Assembly who had been in that position for eight years, five months and twenty-eight days.

On the morning of the day he announced his retirement, Mr. Cansdell was said to have attended Grafton Police Station and made a formal confession. Sometime later NSW Police commenced an investigation [The Daily Examiner,17 November 2011].

In the print, radio and television mediums Mr. Cansdell publicly admitted his wrongdoing.

He also admitted that he had avoided the driving license penalty because he wanted a "clean slate" in the lead up to the next election. [The Daily Examiner,7 October 2011]

He further admitted that he would probably never have confessed to his crime if a whistle blower hadn't drawn attention to it. [ABC North Coast NSW,22 November 2011]

So on one hand we have a former Member of Parliament who by his own admission broke the law and, as an undiscovered political miscreant twice successfully stood for re-election in part on a law and order platform. In the 2011 election campaign it was reported that Mr Cansdell said people were fed up with a system of law and order which failed to effectively demonstrate to people that actions had consequences. [The Casino Times,10 March 2011]

On the other hand we have an O’Farrell Coalition Government that did not suspend this government member when he confessed to the Deputy-Premier and, a parliamentary political party which did not expel him and continues to publicly support him despite his admitted wrongdoing.

A category of wrongdoing which is included in the Criminal Code and an act which a reasonable person might say brought State Parliament into disrepute.

Then in 2012 we have a NSW Director of Public Prosecutions who decides to ignore the fact that the false statement was made to a state agency in order to gain a benefit and refers the matter to the Commonwealth – because the statutory declaration form used was apparently one created under the C’wealth Statutory Declarations Act 1959 and not the NSW Oaths Act 1909. Mr. Cansdell apparently having elected not to use the form sent out with the NSW Office of State Revenue State Debt Recovery penalty notice. [NSW Attorney General and Minister for Justice in Hansard,7 March 2012 and NSW Office of State Revenue,2012]

According to The Daily Examiner on 7 March 2012; Late Wednesday the NSW Police Media Service released the following statement: "After receiving internal legal advice, the NSW Police Force will tomorrow hand over the brief of evidence in the Cansdell matter to the Commonwealth DPP. The office of the Commonwealth DPP declined to comment.

To be continued...........

STATUTORY DECLARATIONS ACT 1959

Click on images to enlarge

Sources:

Commonwealth of Australia Statutory Declaration Form  at

http://www.ag.gov.au/Documents/StatutoryDeclaration200602.pdf

and Statutory Declarations Act 1959 - Section 11 at

http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/sda1959280/s11.html

When government website filtering feels personal

ZDNet.com.au 29 February 2012:

A filter blocking access to .info top-level domains for senators and departmental staff has been lifted, following complaints from Greens communications spokesperson Scott Ludlam.
It was revealed earlier this month that the block of all .info top-level domains was enacted within the halls of parliament and its offices on the basis of advice from the Defence Signals Directorate (DSD). According to the Department of Parliamentary Services acting secretary David Kenny, a total of 35 million websites, including the .info sites, are filtered from view within the parliament.
In estimates hearings, Ludlam asked Kenny whether the block could be reviewed, telling the acting secretary that it had prevented him from viewing anti-war and peak oil websites. The department confirmed to ZDNet Australia this afternoon that following Ludlam's request, the block on .info sites has been removed.
At the time, Ludlam said that it was particularly ironic for Greens MPs, who are opposed to Labor's controversial mandatory internet service provider-level internet filter, to be subject to such a wide-spanning filter themselves.
"I spent two years campaigning against an internet filter for the general population, only to discover that now I am one of the only people in the country who is filtered, which is a little bit alarming," he said……..