Laffin' at Tony Abbott

SBS The Backburner 19 January 2015:

Prime Minister Tony Abbott has been left red-faced after being unable to stop an unexpected leak pouring out of his cabinet this weekend.

The leak, which is causing major structural damage, first became an issue following the repeal of changes to medicare. As of the time of publishing it is unclear what is causing the leak or exactly where it is coming from.

“I just got this cabinet,” said a distraught Abbott. “I don’t understand what’s happening. They just don’t make things like they used to. What happened to infrastructure in this country? Was it me? Did I happen?”

“It’s not stopping either. I thought for a moment some plumber had stuck a pipe straight into it or something. It’s ruining the carpet.”…….

Facebook Tony Abbott’s comb over:

By day it sits on Tony's head. By night, it's a crime fighting patriot who protects our streets from terrorists and dole bludgers.

Tony Abbott’s comb over discussed on Twitter:

Australian Morning Mail 27 May 2014:

Tony Abbott asks the Queen, “Your Majesty, you run such an efficient government.
Are there any tips you can give me?”

“Well,” said the Queen,

“The most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.”

Abbott then asked,

“But how do I know if the people around me are really intelligent?”

The Queen took a sip of champagne.

“Oh, that’s easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle, watch”
The Queen pushed a button on her intercom.
“Please send Prince Charles in here, would you?”

Prince Charles walked into the room and said,
“Yes, Mummy?”

The Queen smiled and said,

“Answer me this please Charlie.
Your mother and father have a child.
It is not your brother and it is not your sister.
Who is it?”

Without pausing for a moment, Prince Charles answered

“That would be me.”

“Yes! Very good.” said the Queen.

Tony Abbott went back home to Australia by Qantas

He decided to ask Joe Hockey the same question.
“Joe, answer this for me.”

“Your mother and your father have a child.
It’s not your brother and it’s not your sister.
Who is it?”

“I’m not sure,” said Hockey.

“Let me get back to you on that one.”
He went to his advisors and asked everyone, but none could give him an answer.

Frustrated, Hockey went to the toilet, and found Clive Palmer there.

Joe Hockey went up to him and asked,

“Hey Clive, see if you can answer this question.”
“Shoot Joe.”
Your mother and father have a child and it’s not your brother or your sister.
Who is it?”

Clive Palmer answered,

“That’s easy, it’s me!”

Joe Hockey grinned, and said,

“Good answer Clive, I see it all now!”

Joe Hockey then went back to find Tony Abbott.
“Tony, I thought about it, and I have the answer to that riddle.”

“It’s Clive Palmer”

Tony Abbott got up, stomped over to Joe Hockey, and angrily yelled into his face,

“No! You idiot! It’s Prince Charles!”

Queensland Votes 2015: a preliminary guide to Newman v Jones for all those living south of the Rio Tweed

Sydney 2GB radio shock jock Alan Jones (born and raised in Oakey Queensland) on Brisbane radio station 4BC News Talk 19 January 2015:

"Campbell Newman told me in my house that if he were to become premier, there would be no Acland stage three," Jones said on air.

"Campbell Newman lied to me. I have no reason to believe anything he's promising Queenslanders today."…

"It's called prostitution ... what was the price that New Hope had to pay to get Acland stage three approved?"  Jones said….

"I couldn't back Campbell Newman to win a chook raffle," he said….

Jones said he would have more to reveal about the LNP government over the next two weeks, but refused to give any details.

Qld Premier Campbell Newman on 19 January 2015:

“Alan Jones is a bloke from Sydney who has made all sorts of comments in the past and there’s nothing new about anything he’s said,” Mr Newman said.….

“But I’ll say that everything that Mr Jones has said has been said before and I won’t be responding further.”

Alan Jones on 4BC News Talk on 20 January 2015:

“he and his party have simply lied to the electorate…..

would disturb 1,361ha of strategic cropping land. I’m simply saying no leader should be allowed to get away with that and some inquiry ought to be held into how much money New Hope has given the government. My information is that it’s at least $700,000….”

Full audio here.

Alan Jones on 21 January 2015:

“Campbell Newman’s flopping around like an octopus on a BBQ over his approval and Mr. Seeny’s approval of the Acland Stage Three mine. It’s a simple story. Campbell Newman told me in my own home that Stage Three would not be approved….Just before Christmas Campbell Newman announced the mine was going ahead…”

Full audio here.

Alan Jones on 4BC News Talk on 22 January 2015:

“Well as I’ve told you each day this week and I’ll keep telling you. Campbell Newman on the eve of the last election lied to me. He said there would be no Acland Stage 3….

I’m asking the question; Is lying endemic?...”

Full audio here.

Campbell Newman on 23 January 2015:

Queensland Premier Campbell Newman and Deputy Premier Jeff Seeney are suing broadcaster Alan Jones and Brisbane Radio station 4BC for aggravated damages over comments Mr Jones made in broadcasts this week during the state election campaign.

In a statement of claim filed yesterday in the Supreme Court in Brisbane and obtained by the ABC, Mr Newman and Mr Seeney claim each of them has been "greatly injured in his credit and reputation" by Mr Jones' broadcasts.

The pair are suing over three broadcasts, made on the mornings of 19, 20 and 21 January, in which Mr Jones said Mr Newman had lied to him about plans for the expansion of the New Hope coal mine at Acland on the Darling Downs in southern Queensland.

BACKGROUND

The Australian 12 January 2015:

A FINAL act of the Newman government before calling the Queensland state election was approval for a controversial coalmine development by a company that had donated $650000 to the Liberal National Party. Deputy Premier Jeff Seeney announced that the Coordinator-General had approved the Acland stage-three mine late on December 19, just as business wound down for Christmas and in the wake of the Sydney siege and multiple stabbing murders in Cairns…..

Local opponent John Gordon, of environment group Stop the Brisbane Coal Trains, said the LNP had attempted to “bury” the news before Christmas because the government knew the deal would “fail the pub test”.

Last year, SBCT released Australian Electoral Commission documents that showed the Acland mine’s parent company, Soul Pattinson, had donated $650,000 to the LNP over three years.

These were marked as being on behalf of Acland mine owner New Hope.

The donations were made in three instalments, two of $200,000 and one of $250,000, in the lead-up to the company’s submission of an environmental impact statement.

“The donations are not illegal but they fail the pub test on any measure,” Mr Gordon said.

“The problem with the donations is they were made during the election ­period when local state member Seeney and Premier Campbell Newman were saying the Acland stage three mine would not go ahead….

New Acland Coal Mine Stage 3 Project - overview

NSW Coalition Government reveals its political sensitivity concerning the Gas Plan

The NSW Baird Government reveals its political sensitivity concerning its Gas Plan via this exchange in the letters section of The Daily Examiner, a regional newspaper in the Clarence Valley.

The first brief letter by a Lower Clarence resident elicited a misleading official comeback within days.

Letter to the editor published on 15 January 2015:

Gas Plan an insult

IT WILL take more than a picture of a young girl testing the waters of what seems to be a pristine dam, to convince the NSW taxpayers that their money is well spent on these full page NSW Gas Plan advertisements.

Such propaganda will not work as people are far too intelligent to be fooled into thinking we don't need to worry about CSG mining now that the NSW Government has created a website.

It is an insult to the intelligence of the community who have overwhelmingly voiced their opposition to unconventional gas mining in the Northern Rivers.

The "NSW Gas Plan" does nothing to stop landholders and communities being forced into giving access to their land against their will and has no improved safeguards for human health in the plan.

Every council on the North Coast has now asked for petroleum exploration licences to be revoked. It is obvious the Government is NOT listening to the voters of NSW and spending huge amounts of taxpayers' money to advertise something they do not support is disappointing to say the least.

Annie Dorrian

Iluka

                         

Letter to the editor published on 19 January 2015:

Gas Plan defence

I AM writing in response to a letter published in your newspaper (15/1) headed: "Gas Plan an insult".

The author claims that an advertorial outlining the NSW Government's comprehensive Gas Plan is an insult to the intelligence of the community.

It is unfortunate that the reader has interpreted the advertorials in this manner. The aim is to raise awareness amongst the community that this State, for the first time, has a plan for the safe and sustainable development of our local gas reserves.

The advertorials will hopefully stimulate people to try to learn more about the plan, the debate and the evidence we have in relation to the risks, the science, the industry and the actions being taken across Government, as we try to balance the economic, environmental and social needs of our State.

This includes a range of actions, which contrary to what is claimed in the letter, cover water, environment, community and landholders' interests.

For example, the use of evaporation ponds and BTEX has been banned. New guidelines for community consultation practices have been set. New codes/standards for well engineering and fracture stimulation practices have been set and peer reviewed by the NSW Chief Scientist and Engineer, Professor Mary O'Kane.

Groundwater studies have been completed on the Gunnedah, Gloucester and Clarence- Moreton basins, and the list goes on.

In total, more than 30 measures were introduced before the Gas Plan, and the Gas Plan itself adds a significant number of additional measures, including the NSW Government's acceptance of all of Professor O'Kane's recommendations.

The plan also outlines new measures aimed at ensuring community and landholders can share more directly in the benefits of gas exploration and development in their areas.

Again, the plan builds on advances already made in this area, such as the review of the arbitration system for land access agreements and the public commitments made by Santos and AGL not to seek access to a landholders' property if the landholder does not want them on their land.

So much has been done in recent years to better balance the economic, social and environmental issues of this industry. The advertorials simply aim to raise awareness of this fact and encourage people to learn more.

Lastly, it is also important to note that it is not correct to imply all people in NSW oppose this industry.

As with all industrial activities, there are those who support it, those who oppose it ... and those who are not interested in the debate or have not yet made up their minds.

Hopefully, for those who are curious about learning more, the Gas Plan will be a helpful place to start.

For more information, please visit gasplan.nsw.gov.au

Kylie Hargreaves

Deputy Secretary, Resources & Energy, NSW Trade & Investment

UPDATE

Bite back at Gas Plan propaganda in The Daily Examiner letters section on 23 January 2015:

Gas plan hard sell

THE NSW Government is spending thousands upon thousands of taxpayer dollars in advertisements to try to sell their so-called NSW Gas Plan to the residents of the Northern Rivers.

This is an obvious attempt to shore up votes for the coming State election in those seats where National Party candidates are most likely to suffer voter backlash from many disillusioned members of the community.

It is not a genuine attempt to inform, educate and consult.

Many citizens would like the right of reply to these advertisements but we do not have the vast amount of dollars required to buy the necessary newspaper space and radio time to counteract the misleading statements in this patronising propaganda.

The main avenue for us, the voters, to have our say regarding our concerns, is by writing letters to the editors of our local newspapers. We are grateful for this opportunity; however, there is limited space in the newspapers to publish our letters - certainly not a full page plus one bonus advertorial half-page.

So it is unjust and inappropriate that Kylie Hargreaves, deputy secretary, resources and energy, NSW Trade and Investment, should write a 457-word letter (19/1) to The Daily Examiner to refute the written opinion of a member of the public (15/1).

The Government is already bombarding us with advertisements - we open a newspaper or other local publication, we turn on the radio or, worst of all, in the privacy of our own home we log into our Facebook page to connect to our friends, and up pops a NSW Government Gas Plan ad.

Please, Ms Hargreaves, leave us at least one forum where we can have our say without interference from the Government.

And while I have this opportunity, may I point out the NSW Gas Plan is not about "Keeping our water pure", "Securing farming future" or "Protecting future generations."

It is all about ensuring that the gas industry proceeds throughout NSW.

Rosemary Joseph,
Bentley

Preliminary investigation into proximity to natural gas wells and reported health status in Washington County, Pennsylvania

http://ehp.niehs.nih.gov/wp-content/uploads/123/1/ehp.1307732.t003.html

A U.S. peer-reviewed preliminary investigation into Proximity to Natural Gas Wells and Reported Health Status, January 2015.