Wednesday, 17 February 2010
Possibly a true story.....
The day was just like many others. Dusk was falling and the frogs were warming up for the night-time chorus.
Then we heard a strange yodelling sound and looking down towards the flat we saw someone running up the creek bank and falling into the long grass.
So the hubby and I jumped into the paddock basher and motored down to see what was going on.
Lying in the paddock was the next door neighbour "Bob" as naked as the day he was born. The smell on his breath left no doubt that a large amount of alcohol had been consumed (and possibly a assortment of other rather more illegal substances).
He was mumbling about being attacked by a large, black, hairy bunyip.
So on the lookout for Bob’s clothes and the bunyip, I grabbed a bucket and headed down to the creek to get some water as our neighbour was not in good straits.
After we cleaned him up we loaded him into the Torana and drove him home.
His wife strongly objected to him entering the house, so Hubby took him into the shed. A couple of horse blankets on the hay and Bob was as snug as a bug in a rug.
On the back veranda I found an esky with one long neck and quite a few empties.
I filled these empties up with water, replaced the screw caps and took them down to the shed.
Bob was regaling Hubby about the bunyip and how it attacked him: his heroic efforts to fight the dreaded beast and how he escaped its clutches.
Seeing me or more likely the beer, Bob insisted that he needed drink. I gave Hubby the only bottle of beer left in the esky which he and Bob shared while I went back to the house.
When I returned Bob was still worried that the bunyip was coming to get him, so Hubby had convinced him that I knew a sure fire bunyip stopping spell.
Glaring at both of them, I told them that I could cast a bunyip proof barrier around the shed, but if I did both of them will have to stay in there till dawn. Hubby fairly bolted out of the shed.
In casting my sure fire spell I walked around the shed reciting all of the plant botanical names I could think of - finishing with a rousing chorus of “grevillea robusta, GREVILLEA ROBUSTA, GREVILLEA ROBUSTA!"
Bob looked happy when I completed the circuit of the shed and the spell was in place, but as we started to leave his doubts grew.
It was then I remembered that a side effect of this spell is that it makes beer go flat and taste like water. Bob was keen to try the beer and to his surprise the spell worked. He was very pleased when I counselled that if he needed to check if the spell was still working all he had to do was have another bottle of 'beer' from the esky.
Would you believe it we finally arrived home in time to feed the Angus poddy calf.