The Malcolm Bligh Turnbull Narrative - abridged version

One version of the Turnbull narrative which may just survive into the future:

There once was a fairly ordinary Australian boy who grew into a young man rumoured to have a nasty temper and an inflated opinion of his own intellect.
His name was Malcolm Bligh Turnbull.
The young man first became a part of the fourth estate, but having a short employment attention span then entered the legal profession where many of his ilk flock, got himself a property so that he could style himself a country gentleman, flirted with authorship, became for a time a merchant banker and along the way made pots and pots of money (not always in a much admired fashion).
Not content with his lot he decided that he would very much like to be President of Australia and so helped mount a national campaign to dismantle the Australian Constitution and form a republic.
The now not so young political peacock saw this campaign fail in the face of contrary voter opinion and, being essentially both lazy and impatient decided that he would rather have a bird in hand such as the job then held by John Winston Howard - Prime Minister of Australia.
Having virtually brought himself Liberal Party pre-selection through sizable party donations and spent a barrow of cash on an election campaign in the Wentworth electorate in New South Wales, he won a seat in the Federal Parliament.
Utterly shocked that the Prime Minister and Cabinet did not immediately bow down before him and clear his path to the prime ministership or at least the treasurer's job, he not so graciously made do with being a parliamentary secretary and then Minister for the Environment and Water Resources.
As part of the Howard ministry he actively assisted the Coalition into the political wilderness in November 2007.
Since then he has been either trying to convince Coalition power brokers that only he can lead them back to victory in 2010 or fending off those who would like to replace him once he actually became Leader of the Liberal Party and Opposition.
To that end he has been rather busying playing at political theatre (a la Machiavelli's Prince, John Wilkes Booth or Burke & Hare depending on your particular point of view) and in consequence his nose has been growing soooo long that it will no longer fit though any door in The Lodge.
Enter Joseph Benedict Hockey........