Thought of the Week for Climate Change Sceptics

Common sense is what tells you the world is flat

[Gingers Meggs cartoon strip wall grafitti]

'Push to add drama' (video)

http://youtu.be/qMMDaq3EWUY

The new Daily Examiner editor is young enough to be an Internet Bairn, so.....

……all of us NSW North Coast WW2-ers and Baby Boomers can look forward to stumbling across candid photos such as this one from circa 2006-2008.

Welcome to the Valley, Jenna!

Friday the Thirteenth April 2012



Photographs found at Google Images

There's no party politics in local government, says voice of authority

Being Easter, there wasn't the usual gathering at the Table of Knowledge on Friday arvo. However, an extraordinary meeting was convened for yesterday.

Midway through the agenda Uncle Tom (remember, he knows everything about everything) made mention of a piece he'd read in Saturday's Sydney Morning Herald.

The piece was 'Risky move is part of Labor's long game', which opened with
One year after the change of state government, council elections in September loom as the next big political contest.
For Labor, they will be a measure of how it has regrouped since the disastrous election result last March.
Like the Clarence byelection, following the resignation of the Nationals' Steve Cansdell, the council elections will also give Labor a chance to judge how the new Coalition government is faring.

Uncle Tom remarked, "The bloke who wrote that is dead-set wrong."

"Howzat?" enquired Big Bazza.

"What that bloke wrote might be right for elections in the metropolitan area but it doesn't apply here because we don't have any of that party politics stuff in our local government up here, or anywhere else in rural NSW," replied Uncle Tom.

So there you have it!

Uncle Tom, being a supporter of every and any thing to do with the coalition (but, admittedly, he's a true blue dyed in the wool National man) said it, so it must be true.

The last sighting we had of Big Bazza he was shufling off in the direction of his home, still scratching the back of his head, obviously bewildered by what he had learnt from Uncle Tom.

The Clarence River Historical Society’s January 2012 Newsletter reproduced a piece that appeared in The Clarence and Richmond Examiner on 26 November 1887. The CRE didn't claim it as a scoop - just as well, because it's suggested in some quarters that Gutenberg cast an eye over it but elected not to print it. However, the message it contains is as relevant today as when it first appeared.

 



Scoop: Local MP plans to appear in avatar format

At yesterday arvo's meeting of The Table of Knowledge at the local watering hole Tom, who claims to know everything and anything about politics, had his wife's sister's young fella (truly, that's how Tom refers to the strapping young man, not simply his nephew) along as a guest.

When the agenda moved to consider the absence of our local charmer, oops that should be member, Chris Gulaptis's smiling dial on the parliament's website the young visitor remarked, "Reckon he's probably put it out for tender."

"What do you mean?" enquired Tom.

"Oh, sorry, Uncle Tom, but I thought from the way you and Aunty spoke about your local MP at home you reckon he's the ants' pants, a sorta 2012 SNAG (sensitive new age guy) type of bloke.

"And, that being the case, he wouldn't want something as ordinary as a mug shot on the website. Nah, he's probably waiting quietly till his designer has finished his avatar."

Well, readers, remember you read that scoop here.

Hmmm, we're wondering what Chris's designer will come up with. Any suggestions?

The joys of marriage - just jokin'!

Source: The Voice, CPSA, March 2012

They just don't make politicians like they used to

Friday night's ABC TV news in Queensland had a piece where Premier Bligh was praising her fellow members of the parliament, especially those on her side of the chamber. Bligh was advancing the notion that MPs are very capable persons and especially skilled at multi-tasking. She remarked, "They can walk, talk and chew gum (all at the same time)."

Back in the good old days MPs were far more talented. Most were able to whistle and fart and drive a cart - all at the same time, of course!

OMG! It's Judgement Day and I'm still here

Way back in May (after Harold Camping bombed by yet again predicting The Rapture that never was) it was somehow decided that today was going to be Judgement Day.
Universal Doomsday for all the world's inhabitants? Well not if I'm any indication.
Sitting here very much alive and earthbound - munching toast and drinking tea without a care.

Pic from judgementday2011.com

Breaking news

It's official! According to The Northern Star's website yesterday beer drinking (along with horse racing and surfing) is a sport.

Warning: All sports activities, including beer consumption, should be undertaken in moderation. If in doubt, consult your friendly medical practitioner. Perhaps a second opinion should also be sought

Need to acquire some antiques in a hurry?

Not a problem. Simply contact this business in Newrybar in northern NSW. The business is very conveniently located just a short distance to the west of the Pacific Highway about 20km north of Ballina.

Best Oz flavoured subtitle of the week

 

Cork me kangaroo’s bot, Scott

from
Wallabies battle cattle farts
The Register
1st July 2011

Sometimes the young make my heart sing - Part Three

Madelaine Zammit at http://youtu.be/PbphkA-soYk

http://www.smh.com.au/digital-life/digital-life-news/aussie-girls-facebook-song-a-viral-hit-20110627-1gmtv.html

Live streaming Tony

With apologies to @JustinLee76 and Cat watching the Federal Council meeting. LIVE: http://bit.ly/iAKSeR @LiberalAus #55fc #auspol for the liberty taken.

Ginge goes all political....

"If cannibals cooked a politician they'd have to use a crock pot" ran the graffiti scrawl in the Ginger Meggs comic on 21st June 2011.
Rather appropriate given the edifying performances being flounced across the national stage by Canberra 'stars' this month.

Note to The Egg Timer editor - you're at least two weeks behind Ginger Meggs online.

"Yamba": the mouth of the Clarence

This week The Sydney Morning Herald's Column8 has been running items about nicknames. Today's item has a local flavour (see below).

Permanent ban imposed on Tony Abbott

I had a dream........

Close the door on the way out

From The Onion, a clear case of Earth to Humans?

“EARTH—According to a statement released to the press Tuesday, the planet Earth has "just about run out of ways" to let its roughly 6.9 billion human inhabitants know it wants them all to leave.

Following a recent series of disastrous floods along the Mississippi River and destructive tornadoes across much of the United States—as well as a year of even deadlier natural catastrophes all over the world—the Earth said its options for strongly implying that it no longer wants human beings living on it have basically been exhausted.

"At this point, I think I've stated my wishes quite loudly and clearly," the Earth's statement to all of humanity read in part. "I haven't exactly been subtle about it, you realize. I have literally tried to drown you, crush you, starve you, dehydrate you, pump you full of diseases, and suck your homes and families into swirling vortices of death. Honestly, what more is it going to take for you people to get the message?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you?" the statement continued. "Get the f**k out of here. I want you to leave now."

Sorry for nicking your logo Mr. Fore!

Jury Duty: I shouldn't laugh, but........

Twenty-eight real or fanciful excuses and attitudes found on Teh Netz for getting out of jury duty:

1. I am unable to speak and understand English – I’m a cat.

2. I’m a dog – the vet says so.

3. If I was meant by God to judge I would be presiding over my own courtroom.

4. I committed a felony, I just wasn't caught.

5. I’ll have to bring my seeing-eye wombat.

6. My budgie is sick, dying, dead.

7. I'm psychic and so I already know the outcome of the trial.

8. My entourage needs me.

9. I have a very important Warcraft quest to finish and my guild is depending on me.

10. My people do not recognise your Earth laws.

11. I fart uncontrollably.

12. I’m a racist.

13. My voices tell me I shouldn’t.

14. It has been my experience that all cops lie.

15. I can't leave home due to the impending holocaust.

16. My bladder causes me to pee quite often. I will not serve unless you can guarantee I can pee every 30 minutes.

17. Please excuse me from jury duty so I can attend a party.

18. I can only communicate telepathically.

19. I shouldn't have to serve because I am too obese.

20. My wife just called. She's in the hospital.

21. I have no faith in the justice system.

22. I'm too busy practicing law to be a juror.

23. I'm a writer. By nature we're shiftless, unreliable, and we make stuff up for a living.

24. Yes, I know the defendant, and the prosecutor, and the bailiff. I know ALL of you!

25. Can I be impartial? As long as impartial means any fool can see the man is guilty.

26. Dress horribly inappropriate for your age/gender.

27. I'm with you, Judge, I'm twittering the whole thing!

28. What was that, Your Honor? I'm busy updating my blog.