Tuesday, 7 April 2009
By the last year of the Howard Government jokes about Coalition pollies had been refined to a professional standard and we all had a good laugh.
Now that we're almost at the halfway point in this Rudd Government first term, do we have any jokes to show for it?
Are they all that funny?
Well we have Rudd, Kevin Rudd a video over at Unsourced Humor.
Jokesey gave us an old BOOM-BOOM about Rudd and the strip club:
Did you hear that Kevin Rudd saw a disappointing poll this morning? It was bereft of a gyrating naked woman...
At The Reel Deal it was a replay of an old Howard joke with Rudders substituted as the butt.
I Seek Golf came up with a Little Johnnie:
Kevin Rudd was visiting a primary school in Tasmania.
One class was in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked Mr. Rudd if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'.
So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.
A little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a 'tragedy'.
'No,' said Rudd 'that would be an accident.'
A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy'.
'I'm afraid not,' explained Mr. Rudd 'that's what we would call great loss'.
The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Rudd searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?'
Finally, at the back of the room, little Johnny raised his hand.
In a quiet voice he said: 'If a plane carrying you and Mrs. Rudd was struck by a 'friendly fire'
missile & blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.'
'Fantastic!' exclaimed Rudd . 'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?'
'Well,' says little Johnny 'it has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be a f*cking accident either!'
At Love For Life teh joke was looong:
But it was at Kevin Rudd LOL that my funny bone was finally tickled:
Kevin Rudd called Julia Gillard into his office one day and said, "Julia I have a great idea! We are going to go all out to win the country voters."
"Good idea Prime Minister, how will we go about it?" said Julia.
"Well," said Rudd, "we'll get ourselves one of those Driza Bone coats, some RM Williams boots, a stick and an Akubra hat, oh and a Blue Cattle dog.
Then we'll really look the part. We'll go to a typical old outback country pub, we'll show we really enjoy the bush." " Right ,"said Julia.
Days later, all kitted out and with the requisite Blue heeler, they set off from Canberra in a westerly direction.
Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for and found a typical outback pub. Walked in with the dog and up to the bar.
"G,day mate," said Rudd, to the bartender, "two middies of your best beer." "Good afternoon Prime Minister," said the bartender, "two middies of our best coming up".
Gillard and Rudd stood leaning on the bar drinking their beer and chatting, nodding now and again to those who came into the bar for a drink. The dog lay quietly at their feet.
All of a sudden, the door from the adjacent bar opened and in came a grizzled old stockman, complete with stockwhip.
He walked up to the cattle dog, lifted its tail with the whip and looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the other bar.
A few moments later, in came another old stockman with his whip. He walked up to the dog and, lifted it's tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and went back to the other bar.
Over the course of the next hour or so another four or five stockmen came in and, lifted the dogs tail and went away looking puzzled.
Eventually, Rudd and Gillard could stand it no longer and called the barman over. "Tell me," said Rudd, "why did all those old stockmen come in and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it an old outback custom?"
"Strewth no!" said the barman. "It's just that someone went 'n told 'em there was a cattle dog in this bar with two arseholes!"