Don't muck with the ducks

Five foot under the worst head cold of the season and I couldn't care less about politics.
So, in North Coast Voices just-for-fun tradition - a para from ANU's student mag Woroni on the wonderful world of Canberra ducks.

The ducks own the campus.
They own the creek. They own the ovals. They most definitely own the roads, defiantly taking way too long to waddle across the pedestrian crossings (yes, they use them) while cars are backed up into the distance. University regulations place harming a duck alongside killing a unicorn, and you must learn to respect their dominion.
You may wonder why I conclude with this observation. But by spring, you too, fresh first year, will understand the dominance of these creatures when you’re running for your life from a fiercely maternal duck going straight for your shins, after you dared to enjoy the sight of her ridiculously cute offspring.
Even as I write this, somewhere in the Chancellery, Professor Chubb is sitting at his desk, receiving orders from a militant duck barking over his shoulder.
Don’t muck with the ducks.