Bats are still a favoured topic in letters to the editor found in the Old Egg Timer of Grafton on the NSW North Coast.
Clarence Plague
A NEW disease has been discovered in the Clarence Valley, which is believed to be associated with bats.
It is thought to be a virus, and rednecks, halfwits, and National Party politicians are especially vulnerable to the virus.
It is particularly virulent in the Cowper Electorate.
Symptoms include ranting, raving, frothing at the mouth, chest beating, and a type of flatulence that results in copious amounts of hot air issuing from the mouth.
Other symptoms include a morbid desire to seek media attention, and those afflicted will be seen standing near high schools, hospitals or roads trying to get their pictures taken.
Another manifestation of the condition is the writing of irrational letters to the local papers advocating all sorts of strange anti social behaviour, including discharge of fireworks in public places.
Those afflicted who are also gun nuts, become obsessed with the idea of putting on their camouflage fatigues and roaming around discharging firearms.
Medical authorities think that the condition is incurable and the most humane option would be to euthanase the sufferers.
Bio-ethicists are concerned that this might be construed as a form of eugenics which is against the Geneva Convention and The Hague Protocols.
Of more concern is the worry that if the local authorities don't get the outbreak under control soon, it will attract the attention of the Centre for Disease Control in Atlanta, and the Americans will fly a B52 over and drop a 10-megaton warhead on the Cowper Electorate, to stop the spread of the contagion.
The bats say however, that they are the victims of a vicious smear campaign and the virus got into Australia via racehorses from Abu Dhabi, or banana imports from Ecuador.
M. CASEY
Grafton
Some background here from our local political wonderkind in clogs - Hartsuyker’s strengthens Maclean bats Bill to end bureaucratic buck passing and remove Federal Minister from the process
No comments:
Post a Comment