Telstra/Big Pond at its "very best"

Readers, before proceeding to read  what follows ensure a stiff drink is readily available. If coffee is the preferred beverage, ensure its super duper strength.

At the table of knowledge at the local watering hole this afternoon Jacko, one of the regulars, delivered the report that follows.

During the report some of Jacko's mates had to be given assistance to get up off the tiles at the watering hole. A visiting medico who was on site said they were in a state of shock and recommended a couple of the lads should, as a matter of urgency, obtain counselling to assist them in their recovery.

"As a long term Telstra/Bigpond customer (30 years+) in the Clarence valley I had no/nil/zilch ADSL service from the provider this week and, on occasions, no telephone access. When T/BP finally restored the services I contacted the telco's billing department with the view to having my bill adjusted to reflect my week's "experience".

A T/BP consultant, obviously one with a first class honors degree in pure AND applied mathematics, used a magnifying glass and, it would seem a multitude of other devices, to examine my account and concluded I had been "inconvenienced" by four, maybe five days. Consequently, I was told my account would be credited on a pro rata basis for four days.

"Hold on", I said, "things out here in the real wide world are not based on such thinking."

The T/BP consultant, obviously a quick thinker, said, "OK, I see where you're coming from. We'll give you seven days' credit."

I replied, "HEY, YOU STILL DON'T GET IT!"

"What do you mean?" was the consultant's response.

After an extensive period of explaining logic 101 to the consultant an auction-like procedure was adopted.

Finally, the consultant said I should be compensated for T/BP's stuff-up and given a 50% discount on my monthly T/BP bill.

You'd swear Telstra's bottom line was going to drop so much its share price was destined to go down the gurgler on the basis of this single event!

Aunty ABC telling NSW something it's known for yonks - Telstra's copper wire is stuffed!

This was Aunty on the 23rd June 2013:

“Unions have told the ABC that Telstra's copper network is in a state of disrepair, with workers at the coalface of the infrastructure using plastic bags to protect cables from water.

The telecommunications pits have been nicknamed 'bag-dad' by contractors because of the plastic bags, that are in theory supposed to keep the water out.

The copper network is a crucial element of the Opposition's alternative broadband plan.”

It’s London to a brick that a quick phone survey across NSW regional areas would show that dodgy internet connections during heavy rainfall are par for the course.

On the North Coast the air would be blue in response because even landlines begin to get temperamental in the wet.

Abbott’s cut price version of the NBN will have us all paying higher prices for zero improvement to our internet connections.

Telstra fails to inform bundled account customers in writing of major privacy breach

This is the full text of the only correspondence from Telstra and BigPond sent on 13 December 2011 to a ‘bundled account’ customer whose name, address, phone number and account password/s may have been amongst the hundreds of thousands potentially publicly available on the Internet for an unspecified period.

See any mention of the breach or of this customer’s possible vulnerability to hacking/identity theft and advice on how to protect their account?

No, I didn’t either.

As you're aware some of our online services were unavailable from late Friday 9th to late Saturday 10th December due to an earlier internal systems issue.

I want to sincerely apologise for any inconvenience you may have experienced this weekend because of the disruption.

Services are now back up again for the majority of our customers, and your BigPond services should be working as normal.

The decision to temporarily reduce access to these services was not taken lightly and I know that our actions resulted in a poor online experience for you and was a source of frustration.

So if you have any technical difficulties after logging into your BigPond email account please see our online help, visit us on CrowdSupport or just call us on 133 933. We’re here to help any time.

Once again, I apologise for the disruption to your service and thank you for your patience.

Best regards,

Peter Jamieson
Executive Director, Customer Service

Cracking Telstra's code and speaking to an Aussie Telstra staffer

This Telstra customer, like millions of others, has had a gutful of phoning Telstra about a fault with its service (I'm not sure that "service" is the correct term, it probably should be referred to as a "disservice") and having the call relayed offshore to someone in the Philippines with the stupid notion they'll be able to understand what the problem is AND be able to do something about addressing the problem.

Hey, let it be known from the outset that this has nothing to do with racism, if that's what readers are starting to think. It's a simple matter of Telstra's very dubious policy of employing cheap, inefficient, unqualified persons who are far removed from the situation and have no idea about fixing a problem that a staff member whose feet are on the ground in Australia can address in a matter of minutes.

Last week I spoke with four persons in the Philippines on three occasions (calls were made to Telstra on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday and each was diverted to the Philippines). On Wednesday I was told that Telstra would have my problem remedied within 4 hours. By Thursday, the problem still existed - Telstra said it would now be fixed in 4-12 hours. Friday, still no resolution - Telstra said it would now be fixed within 24 hours.

Clever me says, "I've had enough. Put me through to your supervisor". Supervisor reviews the case notes and admits all three employees (that's a dead-set misnomer, I suspect they're really contractors or sweat shoppers) were wrong. It would take ... wait for this ... five, yes F - I - V - E, 5 working days to have the problem addressed. That was on Friday, so I pointed out to the supervisor that I live in eastern Australia where Monday 13th June was a public holiday. "No worries", says supervisor, "the complaints section works on Monday and I'll make sure your matter is being followed-up by having Telstra ring you on Monday. What's a good time for Telstra to ring you?" I answer, "After 8.30am."

Monday, 4.55pm and still no call from Telstra so this litle black duck rings Telstra and when the computerised answering system asked what my call was about  I smartly said "Complaints about Telstra."

Well, knock me down with a feather, because a real live Aussie took my call in far-flung Perth. Yep, you guessed right - Telstra in the eastern states were enjoying their public holiday but it wasn't a holiday in the west. See here for WA's public holidays. WA celebrates the Queen's Birthday on 28th October.

A quick review of my case notes confirmed my worst fears. Yes, my small problem which was entirely of Telstra's doing, would take up to five working days to resolve AND I should have been told that if the first person had logged my complaint correctly and initiated proper action to have it addressed.

Where did my problem begin? Yes, in the Philippines when I spoke with someone at Telstra (in the Philippines, of course) about my phone connection two months ago. When did it come to my attention? When the bill from Telstra arrived via Australia Post and I noticed I was being billed for something I never sought nor wanted.

I still cannot work out the 5 business days bit. Perhaps Telstra uses carrier pigeons to send messages from the Philippines to its workers in Australia who actually do the work and fix up their stuff-ups.

Perhaps we could revisit the good old days when the PMG Department had carriage for all these matters.