Cracking Telstra's code and speaking to an Aussie Telstra staffer

This Telstra customer, like millions of others, has had a gutful of phoning Telstra about a fault with its service (I'm not sure that "service" is the correct term, it probably should be referred to as a "disservice") and having the call relayed offshore to someone in the Philippines with the stupid notion they'll be able to understand what the problem is AND be able to do something about addressing the problem.

Hey, let it be known from the outset that this has nothing to do with racism, if that's what readers are starting to think. It's a simple matter of Telstra's very dubious policy of employing cheap, inefficient, unqualified persons who are far removed from the situation and have no idea about fixing a problem that a staff member whose feet are on the ground in Australia can address in a matter of minutes.

Last week I spoke with four persons in the Philippines on three occasions (calls were made to Telstra on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday and each was diverted to the Philippines). On Wednesday I was told that Telstra would have my problem remedied within 4 hours. By Thursday, the problem still existed - Telstra said it would now be fixed in 4-12 hours. Friday, still no resolution - Telstra said it would now be fixed within 24 hours.

Clever me says, "I've had enough. Put me through to your supervisor". Supervisor reviews the case notes and admits all three employees (that's a dead-set misnomer, I suspect they're really contractors or sweat shoppers) were wrong. It would take ... wait for this ... five, yes F - I - V - E, 5 working days to have the problem addressed. That was on Friday, so I pointed out to the supervisor that I live in eastern Australia where Monday 13th June was a public holiday. "No worries", says supervisor, "the complaints section works on Monday and I'll make sure your matter is being followed-up by having Telstra ring you on Monday. What's a good time for Telstra to ring you?" I answer, "After 8.30am."

Monday, 4.55pm and still no call from Telstra so this litle black duck rings Telstra and when the computerised answering system asked what my call was about  I smartly said "Complaints about Telstra."

Well, knock me down with a feather, because a real live Aussie took my call in far-flung Perth. Yep, you guessed right - Telstra in the eastern states were enjoying their public holiday but it wasn't a holiday in the west. See here for WA's public holidays. WA celebrates the Queen's Birthday on 28th October.

A quick review of my case notes confirmed my worst fears. Yes, my small problem which was entirely of Telstra's doing, would take up to five working days to resolve AND I should have been told that if the first person had logged my complaint correctly and initiated proper action to have it addressed.

Where did my problem begin? Yes, in the Philippines when I spoke with someone at Telstra (in the Philippines, of course) about my phone connection two months ago. When did it come to my attention? When the bill from Telstra arrived via Australia Post and I noticed I was being billed for something I never sought nor wanted.

I still cannot work out the 5 business days bit. Perhaps Telstra uses carrier pigeons to send messages from the Philippines to its workers in Australia who actually do the work and fix up their stuff-ups.

Perhaps we could revisit the good old days when the PMG Department had carriage for all these matters.