Another local voice on the big stage

Wooli's Don Firth, who's a frequent contributor to the letters pages of The Daily Examiner and The Sydney Morning Herald, has been part of the ongoing shots at QANTAS in the Herald this week.
 

SMH Letters, August 24, 2011

Qantas flying low

Michele Zehnder (Letters, August 21) is quite right: Qantas should lose the right to adorn the tails of its planes with that wonderful stylised kangaroo. It should, instead, be given to Ausflag, the group looking to secure support for a truly Australian flag, so it can produce a flag to match Canada's in the instantly recognisable stakes.
Don Firth Wooli

 SMH Letters, August 25, 2011

The flying prawn? It could take off

I really like Don Firth's suggestion (Letters, August 24) that the wonderful stylised kangaroo from Qantas be given to Ausflag. It could then be flown above all government buildings and internationally, and would represent all things good. For instance, the downsizing of the Australian international fleet and also the utilising of offshore resources to save shareholder investments, a clear representation of our broken economic motor that is creating holes in our national fuselage.
Michael Cronk Dubbo

Column 8 is back online - finally, Fairfax sees sense

Fairfax has restored online access to The Sydney Morning Herald's Column 8.

Read it online at the Herald's site here.

Fairfax's archived copies of the column are here. However, the Wednesday 18 September 2009 column is not there. North Coast Voice's presentation of it is here.

Column 8's email address is column8@smh.com.au

Thursday's Column 8 - you'd reckon Fairfax could afford to put this online

Kevin Ryan, of Wahroonga, was in Penrith South a few days ago, and reports driving past a car wrecker's yard. The name of the business? "Khartoum."

"Koel alert! Koel alert!" we are warned by Anne Moore, of Waverley. "Heard on Monday at 6.45am. I think this is even earlier than my reported first koel in Column 8 a couple of years back, Soon there will be no first report we'll have koels permanently in residence."

More on affect/effect, from Anton Crouch, of Glebe (Column 8, Tuesday): "A simple rule is to use 'affect' as a verb and 'effect' as a noun. Then you'll be right 99 per cent of the time in conversation and 90 per cent of the time in writing. If you want real pedantry (as opposed to Keith Binns's partial attempt), both 'affect' and 'effect' can be used as a verb and a noun. There's also a use of 'affect' where it means something like 'to pretend to'. But all this gets too hard - the simple rule given above will suit for most of us." Yes indeed, Anton. Most effective.

"Tuesday's headline 'Vet on receiving end as whipping becomes frenzied', writes Duccio Cocquio, of Hunters Hill, "reminds me of an old one from the Wellington Dominion that read 'Drive to ban horse whipping mushrooms'. Very evocative: was it a mad horse whipping the poor mushrooms or a cluster of cruel fungi hitting the innocent horse?" Hard to say but wouldn't the second interpretation require a hyphen?

"I did particularly enjoy the back page of the Sport section in Tuesday's Herald," writes Allan Roberts, of Marrickville, "where the article on Kim Clijsters wining the US Open stated that 'She scrambled with the agility of a gymnast to her players' box to find her husband, Brian Lynch, a professional basketball'." What does a professional basketball earn, we wonder? It'd be hard work.

Richard Sewell theorises that the birds circling pylons of the Anzac Bridge at night are attracted to insects, which in turn are attracted by the bright lights. We now recall that we raised this subject two or three years back, when birds were going crazy around the Harbour Bridge during a bogong moth plague. And lo and behold, a bogong flew out of our wardrobe this morning. What are we in for?

"I was brought up in Blackburn, Lancashire, UK," writes Robert Heathcote, of Newcastle, "a cotton- weaving town. All the older members of my family were weavers and used the term 'cotton on' a lot to mean 'Do you get the idea?'. (Column 8, Saturday). "But they all acknowledged that it derived from the process in weaving where a thread breaks, and they had to 'cotton on' to resume the job. I think also it could mean to start work, or a new job, but it definitely comes from cotton weaving."

"My wife bought a litre of orange juice from Harris Farm Markets at Bridgepoint, Spit Junction," reports Peter Schramko, of Artarmon. "The label reads '100% SQUIZEED ORANGE JUICE'. Does that mean that someone has had a good look at it?"

Column8@smh.com.au(no attachments please).Phone 9282 2207 fax 9282 2772. (include name, suburb, daytime phone)

Source: The Sydney Morning Herald, 17/9/09

Wednesday's Column 8 - ask Fairfax why this is not online at smh.com.au

Wednesday September 16, 2009

"I don't know about the mnemonic for accommodation," confesses Nancy Dickman (Column 8, last week), but when I was in 6th class at Como Public School in 1954 our teacher, a large man with a big voice, would boom 'There is no Como in accommodation!' and I have never forgotten it."

It could have been a lot uglier, Nancy. "When I was young," writes Joanna Davison of Haberfield, "long before spellcheck, my father tested our spelling with the following sentence: 'Accommodated near a cemetery, an embarrassed cobbler met a harassed pedlar gauging the symmetry of a desiccated lady's ankle with unparalleled ecstasy', which contains most of the hardest words to spell."

"The rubbish bins behind the dispensary of a pharmacy must be full at the end of each day with other pharmacies' prescription folders," suggests Annette Minter of Avalon. "This practice drives me crazy when I take in a prescription to a pharmacy that was previously dispensed by a different pharmacy, why do they have to remove the folder and replace it with their own? It is such a waste of paper and doesn't serve any purpose does it?" You wouldn't think so. I'm sure we'll be told if it does probably by a pharmacist, of all people.

Chris Flynn, at the time a temporary resident of the transit lounge at the airport in Singapore, has sent us a page torn from the September 1 edition of The Jakarta Post. He has scrawled at the bottom "What a name!" and encircled the following paragraph:

"The team from the Trade Ministry, made up of five members, was led by Verry Angri Djono, head of Metal, Machine and Electronics Supervision at the Ministry". Crikey, you wouldn't want to be late for a meeting with that bloke, would you?

"For the past four or five nights," reports Neil Godfrey, "I have watched what appear to be flocks of birds swirling around in the lights of the pylons of the Anzac Bridge. What are they up to?" We have no idea, but have also observed this remarkable ornithological ritual recently, and it's quite a sight. The white birds flicker in and out of view as they bank and swerve in and out of the light beams illuminating the flags mesmerising.

Well, someone did it (numerically freakish golf games, and tortuous disputes, Column 8, since Friday). "Like Terrey Hills golf course, the ninth at Coolangatta/Tweed Heads West course is a par five," writes Grahame Marr of Kingscliff. "After going into the water with my tee shot last Wednesday I had a 9, giving me a 9 on the 9th on the 9th of the 9th, 09."

"While looking for the green shoots of economic recovery," writes a cautiously optimistic Will Owens of Clovelly, "my work colleagues and I talked about what the opposite of 'alert but not alarmed' would be, in this context. I thought 'comforted but not jubilant' would be suitable, given the current economic numbers. I won't order the fridge magnets just yet, however."

Column8@smh.com.au(no attachments please).Phone 9282 2207 fax 9282 2772. (include name, suburb, daytime phone)

Source: The Sydney Morning Herald, 16/9/09

Here is Monday's Column 8 - a reader's protest against Fairfax continues

Fairfax continues to ignore a very large section of its readership by not making this column available online at smh.com.au.

To make your feelings known about this
email Fairfax at readerlink@smh.com.au
phone 02 9282
or fax 02 9282 3253

"Your colleague who found remarkable names for nail polish," writes Adrian Briscoe of Rozelle (Column 8, last week), "might be interested to know that a friend of mine once had one called 'I Am Not a Waitress.' I'm sure many of your readers could come up with even more outrageous names." As it turns out, the company in question has already set the pace. OPI's nail polish website is a treat it's hard to work out whether it's utterly tongue-in-cheek or simply astute, counterintuitive marketing. We assume that there was a very long lunch involved in the concept development of these: "Charged Up Cherries, Dominant Jeans," and our favourite: "part of our Australian collection 'Fair Dinkum Pinkum'." And no, we are not making this up, make-up though she be.

"While I admire Vic Deebles' skill to have a hole-in-one on 9/9/9," writes Chris Lawrenson, of golf courses various, (Column 8, Friday), "the last time I played Terrey Hills, the ninth was a long par five, so unless they have changed the layout substantially, it's a very impressive score!" This is a deeply disturbing allegation. Column 8 will take a day off during the week and play the course, after a lengthy lunch, to be certain of the provenance of the initial claim. On the other hand, it could have been a miraculous slice shot, picked up in the rough by a nesting magpie, and deposited in the hole as a humiliating testimony to the waste of the time and effort by the gentleman in question. Far sillier things have happened in golf.

"A report prepared by Kempsey Council on designs and uses for a street mall at Kempsey," we are advised by a concerned and amused Mike Dutton, of thereabouts, "includes, among suggested events, an 'Antic Market' to be co-ordinated by a 'mall manger'. I wonder what would be for sale there - silly walks? Handstands? The mall is also to be upgraded, in accordance with 'design principals'." Hmm not too flash on the face of it. When's the next council election up there, Mike?

"An ad in the Herald classifieds on Saturday," reports John Williamson of Tewantin, Queensland, "is for the sale of the Bali Villa and Restaurant, which apparently 'runs by itself 150 staff'." We have a feeling that a sceptical John may have been in the catering caper, but if true, it seems a bargain at any price.

We don't often run replies to Heckler columns over here but we've had quite a response to Laura Jardine's rant on Friday about dodgy names for kids. "Every generation has its share of creative names for children," replies Janet Power of Blayney. "In past generations, Wendy and Cynthia raised the eyebrows of grandparents. Any teacher will tell you of the disbelief that greets the list of new enrolments each year, but girls named Jordan and Cameron no longer draw a reaction. It's the fanciful spellings that take our breath away. And as for boys' names, my late father (born in 1922) rejoiced in the name Gladstone. Besides, I have to keep an open mind. Just this week I became proud grandmother to Atlas!" Heavens above, Janet - this load-bearing baby isn't a girl is it?

Column8@smh.com.au(no attachments please).Phone 9282 2207 fax 9282 2772. (include name, suburb, daytime phone)

Source: The Sydney Morning Herald, 14/09/09

Here's what Fairfax doesn't want its SMH online readers to see