The Malcolm Bligh Turnbull Narrative - abridged version

One version of the Turnbull narrative which may just survive into the future:

There once was a fairly ordinary Australian boy who grew into a young man rumoured to have a nasty temper and an inflated opinion of his own intellect.
His name was Malcolm Bligh Turnbull.
The young man first became a part of the fourth estate, but having a short employment attention span then entered the legal profession where many of his ilk flock, got himself a property so that he could style himself a country gentleman, flirted with authorship, became for a time a merchant banker and along the way made pots and pots of money (not always in a much admired fashion).
Not content with his lot he decided that he would very much like to be President of Australia and so helped mount a national campaign to dismantle the Australian Constitution and form a republic.
The now not so young political peacock saw this campaign fail in the face of contrary voter opinion and, being essentially both lazy and impatient decided that he would rather have a bird in hand such as the job then held by John Winston Howard - Prime Minister of Australia.
Having virtually brought himself Liberal Party pre-selection through sizable party donations and spent a barrow of cash on an election campaign in the Wentworth electorate in New South Wales, he won a seat in the Federal Parliament.
Utterly shocked that the Prime Minister and Cabinet did not immediately bow down before him and clear his path to the prime ministership or at least the treasurer's job, he not so graciously made do with being a parliamentary secretary and then Minister for the Environment and Water Resources.
As part of the Howard ministry he actively assisted the Coalition into the political wilderness in November 2007.
Since then he has been either trying to convince Coalition power brokers that only he can lead them back to victory in 2010 or fending off those who would like to replace him once he actually became Leader of the Liberal Party and Opposition.
To that end he has been rather busying playing at political theatre (a la Machiavelli's Prince, John Wilkes Booth or Burke & Hare depending on your particular point of view) and in consequence his nose has been growing soooo long that it will no longer fit though any door in The Lodge.
Enter Joseph Benedict Hockey........

'Typhoid Mary' Fielding goes too far

Struth, there's yet another idiot pollie fronting the teev this week!
Family First's leader and one and only member of the Australian parliament Senator Steve Fielding apparently not only thinks man-made global warming doesn't exist, he thinks the principles of viral transmission don't apply to his august person.
The obviously lobotomised senator has someone in his household he says has been diagnosed with swine flu, but is determined that even if he might be infectious himself he "doesn't want to take a sickie".
Yeah, nice one Stevo - go trotting through an air-conditioned workplace (open to the general public) dominated by older, sedentary men who would probably be more vulnerable to swine flu.
Look! See how quickly Steve can bring Parliament to its knees!
See how powerful Family First is!
Did we really vote this drongo in?

Q: What's a 2830?

A: A dubbo, of course.

As reported yesterday, a couple of Dubbo Zoo inmates, oops that should read Dubbo City Councillors, who previously resided in the Clarence Valley, are making big impressions in the local government arena in central western NSW.

Richard Mutton (left) and Peter Bartley (right), who are councillors on Dubbo City Council, have done their level best to demonstrate how effectively the National Party performs.

At Monday night's meeting of council a motion, moved by Mutton, that Bartley had breached the council's code of conduct, should be counselled and should apologise to the council was carried.

So who are Mutton and Bartley?

1. Mutton

When Gerry Peacocke retired as the State National Member for Dubbo in 1999 a swing of 19.4% was required if the Nationals were to lose the safest seat in NSW. With its remarkable collective wisdom the Nationals saw fit to preselect Mutton as their candidate. The rest is history ... Mutton suffered a humiliating defeat and lost the seat to the independent Tony McGrane.

2. Bartley

Bartley is chairperson of the Nationals Dubbo electorate council.

Gee, the Nationals are a weird breed of cattle.

Pics from Dubbo City Council

Godwin Grech, celebrity and other political trivia this week

I suppose it was inevitable - Federal Treasury Principal Advisor, Financial Systems Division, Godwin Grech, now has a FaceBook fan club and a Wikipedia entry.

Godwin is being widely discussed in the mainstream media and the blogosphere because of his testimony before a Senate inquiry last week.

However, the author of the FaceBook entry remains a bit of a mystery.

I'm rather inclined to suspect a Liberal party staffer organised the creation of this entry, after hearing Liberal Party MP and parliamentary attack dog Joe Hockey admit on ABC News Radio yesterday that he tried to contact Mr. Grech on Saturday to offer moral support.

Meanwhile according to the Commonwealth Hansard for the House of Representatives (using a quick word count) on the day that email was revealed as a fake, honourable members rose to use the word lie 9 times, lies 2 times, lied 22 times and liars 1 time.

At last the mystery is solved - the Nationals MP for Cowper can't read

It has been puzzling me as to why Federal Nationals MP for Cowper Luke Hartsuyker (as late as his appearance on Channel 10 State Focus on Sunday 21 June 2009) insists on repeating a false assertion that the Prime Minister had promised that individuals affected by northern NSW flooding in March 2009 would be eligible for a particular one-off Centrelink cash payment. 

The mystery appears to have a really banal explanation. 

It seems that Mr. Hartsuyker is in urgent need of a remedial reading course, because on 26 May 2009 he had incorrectly stated to The Belligen Shire Courier-Sun that these payments had been extended to families affected by March flooding:

Meanwhile, Federal MP Luke Hartsuyker yesterday welcomed the Prime Minister's announcement of one-off cash grants to assist those individuals, small businesses and primary producers affected by recent flooding. The Prime Minister announced in Parliament ton Monday that one-off cash payments of $1000 per adult and $400 per child would be provided to eligible families affected by the floods. These grants would also be extended to those families affected by flooding on March 31. "I welcome this additional assistance which is being provided to these flood affected victims. "I also thank the Prime Minister for belatedly acknowledging the impact the March 31 floods had on the Coffs Harbour, Bellingen, Nambucca and Clarence Valley local government areas. "It is nearly eight weeks since those floods and although the Government originally rejected a request for one-off cash payments, I know there are many families out there who will welcome this assistance. I understand this assistance will be administered by Centrelink. "

In the world according to Hartsuyker - he personally makes a big blunder but it is really Kevin Rudd's fault.

See: Piers Akerman proves why both he and The Daily Telegraph have such lowly reputations

A bit of cheek from North Coast Nationals Luke Hartsuyker concerning local flooding

Has Big Mal finally lost his mojo?

As of yesterday arvo Big Mal Turnbull last posted a two year-old video on YouTube 4 days ago, hasn't uttered a tweet on Twitter since the 18th June, not really updated news on his personal website since the day before that, hasn't uploaded to Flickr since the 15th June, last posted a note on Facebook on the 25th May and last logged in to MySpace on 14th of May 2009.
Now caught in media headlights like some bemused marsupial, Mal can only bleat that it would be improper to reveal his sources when he has apparently been caught out in what looks suspiciously like a political plot to bring down the Prime Minister with the collusion of at least one public service mole sympathetic to the Liberal Party.
The Great Communicator is no more......

Pic: Australian Jewish News