Tuesday, 28 October 2008
Now Julie, spell after me - p.l.a.g.i.a.r.i.s.m.
Deary, deary me as Gran would say - this lazy gal is obviously beyond being taught.
However, the neo-libs as a whole and many other political types are not above this form of petty fraud, so I expect that there's more than one or two fellow travellers hastily reviewing their own speeches and media articles.
Tony Abbott would be a prime candidate - after all it wasn't all that long ago he prematurely ran to the media and falsely claimed a 'son'.
Monday, 27 October 2008
It's be kind to ethically-challenged politicians week, with exceptions
Aw Ma - tell me it ain't so? (Osama runs in US election)
I'm still shaking my head over this from TimesUnion.com:
"TROY — Rensselaer County elections officials are blaming a computer spell-checking program for the error in hundreds of mailed absentee ballots that spelled Barack Obama's surname Osama.
A county legislator said Tuesday that a Democratic Board of Elections worker initially accepted responsibility for the error.
"We heard that she immediately put in her resignation, but it was turned down," said District 2 Legislator Keith A. Hammond, a Democrat. "Whether it was done in jest or in error, it is still an embarrassing mistake, but we now need to move on to more important issues."
The story broke Oct. 10 when a Sand Lake voter called the Times Union saying he received an absentee ballot in the mail on which Row 1A had Barack Obama's name as Barack Osama.
"The immediate problem when this first surfaced was that everyone thought the Republicans or Conservatives were to blame," said District 1 Legislator and Conservative Bob Mirch. "The people who work for the board are honest, and we are pleased a Democrat admitted the mistake."
It's hard not to believe that the Yanks really deserve any government they get.
Sunday, 26 October 2008
Turf out the daily prayers in Australia's parliament
A number of Aussie pollies are jumping up and down over a proposal to have a public debate about whether or not the daily prayer that precedes events in the Australian federal parliament should be rewritten or replaced.
And, guess what? Yes, Immigration Minister Chris Evans is right up there at the front of the group of protesters.
smh.com.au reports that Evans has poured cold water on a suggestion that the Lord's Prayer be replaced by an acknowledgment of the traditional owners of the land at the daily opening of parliament in Canberra.
That comes as no surprise to those who are aware of Evans's background. Prior to entering federal parliament in 1993 Evans was the State Secretary of the WA Fire Brigade Union, so he has form when it comes to pouring cold water on things that have any potential to spark things up.
The Speaker in the House of Representatives, Harry Jenkins, said the prayer was the most controversial aspect of parliamentary procedures and had been raised with him by MPs and members of the public.
Not unexpectedly, church groups (have) reacted angrily to any suggestion of replacing the Lord's Prayer.
But, get this. Senator Evans said he did not think it was uncomfortable for MPs who were not Christians to have to recite the prayer at the beginning of each sitting day.
Foreign Minister Stephen Smith said it was the responsibility of the parliament's presiding officers to decide whether the Lord's Prayer needs replacing.
Earlier this year the Australian parliament had a formal Welcome to Country and then the Apology, but still the parliament opens with the reading of prayers.
Truly, the time has arrived for daily prayers to be dispensed with and proceedings to commence with the Speaker in the House of Representatives and the President of the Senate beginning the sittings of the houses with an Acknowledgement of Country.
Saffin announces new deal over Centrelink employment benefit compliance
Member for Page Janelle Saffin says the Rudd Government's new welfare compliance system will be good news for job seekers in Page.
The Government has introduced legislation to give effect to measures announced in this year's Budget, to introduce a fairer job seeker compliance system from July 1, 2009.
Ms Saffin said the current penalty system, introduced by the previous Coalition Government, often hurts the most vulnerable job seekers.
"Figures show that 15 per cent of those who have payments cuts for eight weeks have a mental illness, and another five per cent have unstable housing," she said.
"These are the ones we know of for sure, but my local experience tells me that the figures would be higher.
"In the last financial year a total of 321 people in Page had their payments cut for eight weeks, an increase of 92 per cent on the previous year.
"But the Howard Government's punitive system didn't work because there was no improvement in attendance at job network interviews, job search training or Customised Assistance."
"The primary goal should not be about punishment, but about helping people secure work."
How well this new policy will work in practice depends in large measure on the attitude of Centrelink staff.
It is hoped that the somewhat punitive culture which has developed within this agency on the NSW North Coast will now fade from existence and a more realistic approach take its place.
Nevertheless, well done to those Labor federal ministers and MPs involved in bringing this change about.
Last week a Murwillumbah Hospital staff member went to the local Post Office to drop off the mail only to be told that the letters would not be accepted until the hospital paid its postage account.
The hospital on the NSW far north coast is so cash-stretched that it can no longer afford to pay its running expenses.
In State Parliament yesterday, MP for Tweed Geoff Provest said Murwillumbah’s sister hospital at Tweed Heads could close its doors in two weeks because of its financial crisis. [Crikey.com.au, 23 October 2008]
The latest ABS data indicates that many of the socio-economic factors prevalent on the NSW North Coast are factors in forms of mental illness.
An ABC Local radio interview also highlighted this:
PAULA KRUGER: It isn't only young people that aren't getting access to mental health services. Despite a $1.8-billion package from the Howard government in 2006 and many other cash injections most of the people who need help aren't getting it.
The Mental Health Council of Australia says the most startling find of the report is that more than two-million Australians, that is 60 per cent of people who experienced a mental health disorder, did not use a mental health service.
When garden flowers and plants go wild
So here is a link to Weeds Australia if you want to check out that plant.
On the NSW North Coast we also have to be aware of the inadvisability of planting Dutchman's Pipe ornamental creeper, as the increasingly rare and lovely Richmond Bird-Winged Butterfly (pictured above from Google Images) mistakes this hostile plant for one it traditionally thrives on and consequently its larvae die.
Malcolm Turnbull feeds the cat and other Aussie tall tales this week
Malcolm Turnbull feeds the cat
The Turnbull kitchen. A large table surrounded by metal-framed chairs is in the centre; on it a heavy vase with large flowers. The Turnbull cat, Kevin, is hanging around the fridge. Enter right the Leader of the Opposition.
Malcolm Turnbull: Hullo! Malcolm Turnbull. It's Kevin, isn't it? Wonderful to see you again. (Shakes cat's paw.)
Cat: Meow.
MT: (Jocular, but rather ponderous) May I call you Kev? I detect a need for food, Kev. (Looks in fridge.) Nothing there for cats.
Cat: Meow. (Weaves excitedly around Turnbull's legs.)
MT: What? What is it?
(Cat leaps into open fridge and hauls out a T-bone.)
MT: Hey! (Cat starts chewing on it noisily.) That's my dinner. (MT lunges for the steak, but the cat is too quick, and drags it nimbly away beneath the kitchen table.)
MT (Earnest now): Look. With respect, you are being unreasonable. Give it back.
(Cat looks at him, impassive. Then resumes chewing. Turnbull opens and shuts cupboards and drawers noisily, looking for some sort of weapon. He finds a potato masher.)
MT: When facing a determined adversary, it helps to negotiate from a position of strength. (On all fours, pokes ineffectually at cat between legs of kitchen chairs. Cat looks at him quizzically, resumes chewing.)
MT: Kevin! Listen to me. Without in any way conceding your point, I am willing to take a bipartisan approach. (Cat does not respond. Turnbull is slowly turning pink. There is a tone of barely controlled rage in his voice.)
MT: Now this is a very generous offer. If you concede the unchewed half of the steak, I am willing to forgo the chewed portion. (Cat ignores him.)
MT (Bellows): KEVIN! Give me the steak! Now! (Cat insouciant, swallows large piece of meat.)
MT (Shouting): Don't think I can't see your tactic, Kevin. You think you are smart, but I am smarter. (Crawls under table. Chair legs scrape noisily as he pushes his way through.) You may be large, but I am larger. (Cat looks at him briefly, then chews on. Turnbull is now crawling head down, bum up, beneath several chairs at once.) You are persistent, but I am more persistent. I am here for the long haul, Kevin. My stamina is legendary. (Cat wolfs down another large piece, as several chairs fall over.) You may possess a certain animal cunning but ask anyone you like - my IQ is incomparably greater than yours.
Turnbull tries to force his way through, but the chairs are too thick, and he is also kneeling on his own tie. Finally, with a bellow of rage, he stands up, tipping over the table, and sending chairs, flowers, vase and water crashing to the ground.
The cat flees, leaving behind a well-chewed bone.
While Mercurius at Larvatus Prodeo provided this nice touch of satire:
Welcome to Young Liberal University
Thanks to the mysterious workings of Australia Post, I received in error this letter originally intended for Nigel Freitas:
Greetings, future Captain of Industry!
I'd like to extend the warmest of welcomes to you and your trust fund sponsor for choosing Young Liberal University, Australia's newest and fastest-growing campus.
After careful consideration of your academic record, and even more careful consideration of the cheque you enclosed, we are delighted to accept your application. I can also confirm that we mailed your receipt to the Bahamas address you specified on the post-it note labeled *VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!*
At YLU, we guarantee academic freedom for every student. And I don't mean that obsolete notion that academics should be free to pursue the truth without fear or favour. Real academic freedom exists where students like you are no longer required to engage with any ideas other than those with which you arrived. And we guarantee that's exactly how you'll graduate.
Our motto is Truth through Balance. Truth is more precious than anything, especially evidence that contradicts the Truth. And Balance helps us arrive at the Truth by ensuring that everything and everyone remains in their Proper Place.
That is why our fair and balanced curriculum includes:
- Chair of Flat Earth Studies: to address this long-neglected aspect of geographical research.
- Karl Rove School of Pre-Emptive Existentialism: Can you solve the world's toughest philosophical conundrum — I Know You Are But What Am I?
- Andrew Bolt Institute of Environmental Studies: Prerequisites are Cherry-Picking 101 and Advanced Moral Indignation.
- The Wilson Tuckey Centre for Indigenous Research: Now conducting ground-breaking research into the benefits of breeding out the colour, why missing children aren't missed all that much; and a shiny, happy look at labour gangs.
And, as a special preview of our next semester's courses, I invite you to consider:
- The Mervyn Bendle Armchair of Peace & Conflict Studies
Learn at the feet of the master as you grapple with such tough questions as: Are false dichotomies just rhetorical tricks to support spurious arguments, or can they reveal the traitors in our midst?
- The Who You Know Sociology Centre
Announcing our latest course - Oppressing the Subaltern in the 21st Century: explores the interplay of language and power as used by the nation-state and mass media in the suppression of the KKK, neo-Nazis, Holocaust deniers and other free thinkers.
But of course, university life is about so much more than just hitting the books. We also have a vibrant Arts and Sports curriculum that includes:
- The Miranda Devine Gallery: Come and view Michaelangelo's David as it was always meant to be seen — locked away in the basement of the Vice Squad's Child Protection Unit.
- The Grace of God Holy Rollers: Our ever-reliable singers are in unison on every single word, and you can even preach to the choir!
- Alan Jones Memorial Rugby Foundation: With new coach Tony Abbott, you can engage in all kinds of drug-related misdemeanours, sexual indiscretions and sublimated homoeroticism, secure in the knowledge that what goes on tour, stays on tour.
At YLU, we also look after our students with a host of support services, and our Dean of Students Keith Windschuttle is always available to help with your revision.
Finally, isn't it reassuring to think that once you graduate, our alumni association the Old School Tie Society, will be ready to assist you with access to the nation's boardrooms and most prestigious clubs? (no ladies, please.)
So, once again, thank you for choosing YLU. Together, we'll bring out the White, Christian and British best in Australia.
Yours sincerely,
Kevin Donnelly
Founding Chancellor
Young Liberal University
Well done Chris and Merc for once again proving that the pen is mightier!