Oh noes - they've been haiku'd!

I recently received a book called ONE HUNDRED GREAT BOOKS IN HAIKU by David Bader.

The premise of the book is that there are great works of literary art but no one has the time to read them, or alternatively that the modern attention span is so short it is too great a chore to read them.

So he condensed the novels into haiku.

A haiku is a three line poem containing seventeen syllables developed in Japan.

I was very impressed and thought I would share a few with you;

THE ODYSSEY

Homer

Aegean forecast-

storms, chance of one-eyed giants,

delays expected.

DE REVOLUTIONIBUS

ORBIUM CAELESTIUM

Nicolaus Copernicus

Guessus whatibus?

Earthus orbits the Sunnum!

Ptolemy doofus.

THE INFERNO

Dante Alighieri

Abandon all hope!

Looks like everyone's down here.

Omigod- the Pope!

MOBY-DICK

Herman Melville

Vengeance! Black blood! Aye!

Doubloons to him that harpoons

the Greenpeace dinghy.

(this could also apply to the Japanese justice system)

LORD OF THE FLIES

William Golding

'Kill him! Spill his blood!'

Marooned lads hold savage rites.

Choirboys lean to prey.

GULLIVER'S TRAVELS

Jonathan Swift

Thus I was first great,

then small, and much vexed to learn

that size does matter.

Gloria Jean and Mercy Ministries back in the spotlight

With much of the Australian mainstream media and blogosphere focussed on the recent federal election, this The Sydney Morning Herald article past under my radar (kudos to Cafe Whispers for being an exception) :

The parent company of Gloria Jeans Coffee, co-owned by the Hillsong Church elder Nabi Saleh, is in ''financial dire straits'' and should be put into liquidation and an investigation held into its affairs, the NSW Supreme Court has been told.
It is the latest shot fired in the multimillion-dollar lawsuit against the coffee giant's parent company, Jireh International, by a small US-based coffee supplier, Western Export Services.
On June 11, the court ruled that Jireh must pay the export company millions in commissions and interest after it found Jireh had breached a joint venture agreement. Yesterday the parties were back in court, fighting over the formula used to calculate the total owed to Western Export Services.

The last published judgment in the matter Western Export Services Inc v Jireh International Pty Limited [2010] NSWSC 622 (11 June 2010) awarding $8,387,656 in damages to Western Export Services.

Here in Australia we are all aware of the ACCC's investigations into Hillsong-connected Mercy Ministries:

The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission has obtained court enforceable undertakings, which includes payment, from seven former directors of Mercy Ministries Incorporated and/or Mercy Ministries Limited in relation to misrepresentations by those entities.
The undertakings include an apology and a voluntary payment of $1050 to those people affected by the conduct. These are made by former directors Mark Zschech, Peter Irvine, Mark Caldwell, Stephen Crouch, Young Pil (Phil) Sohn, Darlene Zschech and Clark Pearson.
Mercy Ministries is a not-for-profit Christian based charitable organisation which offered a residential counselling program to young women affected by issues such as eating disorders, depression, self harm, unplanned pregnancy, drug and alcohol abuse and the effects of sexual or physical abuse. The program was offered whilst the young women resided in a Mercy Ministries home.
The ACCC was concerned that in a period between January 2005 and June 2008, Mercy Ministries misrepresented in brochures and on its website that its services were provided for free, when the majority of residents were required to assign their Centrelink payments to Mercy Ministries for the duration of their stay.
The ACCC was also concerned that during this period, Mercy Ministries misrepresented that it offered professional support from psychologists, dieticians, general practitioners, social workers and counsellors, when the level of professional support was not available as represented. Mercy Ministries did not employ this range of professionals. It did facilitate access to external professionals upon request from residents.

2010

Undertakings remedy Mercy Ministries misleading conduct

Undertakings remedy Mercy Ministries misleading conduct. The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission has obtained court enforceable undertakings, which includes payment, from...

Young Pil Sohn

obtained court enforceable Undertakings from seven former directors of Mercy Ministries Incorporated and/or Mercy Ministries Limited in relation to representations made by...

Mark Anton Zschech

December 2009. Undertaking. The ACCC has obtained court enforceable Undertakings from seven former directors of Mercy Ministries Incorporated and/or Mercy Ministries...

2009

Undertaking.pdf

Darlene Joyce Zschech and Clark Pearson were directors or office holders of Mercy Ministries Limited ACN 094 325 765 ( N ML) and/or Mercy Ministries Incorporated ABN...

ACCC October—December 2009.pdf

A report of the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission s activities 1 October to 31 December 2009

In the middle of the federal election campaign all pollies got a pay rise

At the same time Oz pollies were inflicting an atrocious election campaign on a helpless national electorate they were quietly anticipating a backdated pay rise:
Remuneration Tribunal Statement - 2010 Review of Remuneration for Holders of Public Office (72kb) RTF (528kb)
Remuneration Tribunal Statement - 2010 Travelling Allowance Rates for Public Office Holders and Parliamentarians (32kb) RTF (376kb)
Members of Parliament - Travelling Allowance (96kb) RTF (976kb)

According to The Herald-Sun this means that the prime ministerial position is currently worth $14,000 more starting from 1 August.
No wonder Abbott is hot for the job - with his level of personal debt being prime minister would be a god send.

The public service is of course included in this pay rise and moola reports for the grand poobahs are found here:
Remuneration and Allowances for Holders of Full-Time Public Office (120kb) RTF (1.15mb)
Remuneration and Allowances for Holders of Part-Time Public Office (144kb) RTF (2.18kb)

AEC running vote tally now 71 all on morning of 26 August 2010

Click on image to enlarge

From the AEC Virtual Tally Room as of 4am on Thursday 26 August 2010:
Currently 79.78% of the primary vote has been counted.
The two party preferred count is 76.87% complete.
At this stage the Coalition is thought to have 71 seats, Labor 71 seats, Independents 4 seats and 3 seats are still considered doubtful.


Click on image to enlarge

From the ABC Australia Votes 2010 website as of 4.30am 26 August 2010

Will you help these humpback whales in August 2010?

Arne Fleisher's photograph of Humpback Whale from Greenland.com

A copy of the International Whale and Dolphin Conservation Society email set out below was sent to me yesterday.

These whales may be in distant waters to their Southern Ocean cousins, but their plight still deserves equal consideration by all of us here in the Northern Rivers and across the rest of Australia:

Please protest and help us stop Greenland's humpback hunt.

Greenland's whalers could begin to kill humpback whales at any moment – please help us stop them.

In June the IWC agreed to allow Greenland to kill nine humpback whales a year and according to IWC rules, the hunt would start in mid-October. But WDCS has learnt that Greenland's government has given in to the whalers and will allow them to start much sooner, before the whales leave Greenland's shores to migrate to the warm waters of the Caribbean to breed.

Please will you write to Greenland's Prime Minister to protest? Our e-protest will only take you a few seconds.

A lottery system was used to decide which whalers could go out and kill these charismatic and intelligent animals - treating their lives like prizes in a raffle.

The two whaling boats that won this bloody prize-draw plan to set sail any day. If they kill any humpbacks before October 13th they will violate the IWC's rules, but their government is asking other countries for 'understanding'.

We don't want them to kill these animals at all; we don't believe that Greenland has demonstrated a genuine subsistence need to do so and we are horrified that now they plan to flaunt the agreement and go out hunting early.

WDCS recently went undercover in Greenland and found that so-called subsistence whalers are hunting 'to order' for a commercial processing company and selling whale meat to up market restaurants and tourist hotels. It's heartbreaking that these whales, who are worth far more alive to Greenland's growing tourism industry, may instead soon be found vacuum-sealed and frozen on supermarket shelves.

Please will you write to Greenland's Prime Minister to protest?.

If you are on Facebook, you can post a polite message to the Greenland prime minister's wall. Just click on this link to go to his page, then 'Like' him (this will enable you to post). Then post the following, or words to this effect:

Even though the International Whaling Commission has decided to allow Greenland to hunt humpback whales, we urge you not to permit the hunt to start. These amazing animals are vital to Greenland's growing whale watching industry and its economy as a whole, and are worth far more alive than dead. Please do not permit the hunt to start.

Thank you.

Sue Fisher

WDCS anti-whaling campaign manager

That's not democracy!

Now let me get this straight. Four independent candidates I never had the remotest opportunity to cast a vote for and who never presented policy or promises to the people in the national federal election campaign (except in their own electorates), now want to dictate who will form government and the way in which the Australian Parliament will operate from now on.
Fark me dead! Someone's having a lend of themselves.
That's not democracy - that's oligarchy.
And that's not on as far as I'm concerned.
Turn those braying asses back into their stalls, reprint the ballot papers and send us all to the polls once again.

Media wrap & latest vote tally on Wednesday morning, 25 August 2010

AEC Virtual Tally Room
Click on image to enlarge

Across Australia 14,088,260 electors enrolled to vote.
Currently 78.76% of the primary vote has been counted representing 11,000,292 electors.
The two party preferred count is 75.85% complete.
A total of 1,935,933 declation votes were issued, including postal, prepoll and absentee ballots.
619,905 informal votes were recorded.

This morning's reports on the scramble for a minority government, with Tony Abbott using the media to push his cause:

Independents set for long haul Sydney Morning Herald‎
'If they were good for the bush, I'm a Martian astronaut.'... Bob Katter said that during their 12 years in power the Coalition had done little for rural voters. Photo: Nicolas Walker THE three independents holding the key to who will govern the nation...
Greens will control ALP, says Abbott The Australian ‎
Independents Bob Katter, left, Tony Windsor and Rob Oakeshott meet in Parliament House. Picture: Gary Ramage Source: The Australian TONY Abbott has warned that the Australian Greens would virtually control a minority Labor government...
Abbott's plea to independent MPs The Age ‎
With three seats still in doubt nationally, all eyes are on Hasluck for a result that may decide which party can form government. TONY Abbott, a renowned parliamentary head kicker, has promised a ''kinder, gentler polity'' if he becomes prime minister...
Abbott to drive gentle bargain to kingmakers ABC News
An Abbott government would be prepared to introduce a new, backbench-only Question Time and expose more of its ministers - even Tony Abbott himself - to the rough-and-tumble of the budget estimates process, the Coalition will tell crossbench MPs this week...
Rural MPs may finally meet leaders News.com.au
THREE rural independents who could decide Australia's next prime minister are formulating a roadmap to power which they'll present to both Julia Gillard and Tony Abbott...
Gillard has the real call, not Bryce‎ The Australian
Power to incumbent if count tied: Fraser The Australian
Oakeshott pushes unity government vision The Australian ‎