Friday, 10 January 2014

Liberal Party Senator Cory Bernardi gets a few rollicking reviews


Former parliamentary secretary assisting then Opposition Leader Tony Abbott and Liberal Party attack dog, Senator Cory Bernardi, has written another book.......



These are Amazon’s Most Helpful Customer Reviews.....

56 of 58 people found the following review helpful

Poor value, and very rough on the nether regions



By Tim Bell on January 6, 2014

Let me be upfront from the start: I didn't buy this book.

It's only 178 pages long, and at the current price of just under $27, it's quite expensive as well. So already one's expectations are for a good quality product, given that it costs over 15 cents per page (or 30 cents per sheet, in other words).

Just for comparison, my local Woolworths has toilet paper on sale for 20 cents per ONE HUNDRED sheets, or less than 1% the price per sheet of this book!!

As I confessed at the start, I haven't actually bought this book, so I just have to assume that it's printed on the same kind of paper that most paperbacks are printed on. If you're like me, and have occasionally wiped your nether regions with a sheet of an old Agatha Christie murder mystery, or maybe a Deepak Chopra self-help title, you know that it's a poor substitute for a good-quality piece of toilet tissue. So, without any evidence or claims to the contrary, I have to assume that this paperback is the same, with rough, untextured and single-ply pages that irritate, and (let's be honest) don't actually do as good a job at wiping as proper toilet tissue.

So that's really all there is to it: it's overpriced, and inferior to competing products, so why would you buy it? The Kleenex and Scott products are much better value for money, more effective, and so much more pleasant to use.

44 of 45 people found the following review helpful

Won't anyone think of the dachshunds?


By Simon666 on January 6, 2014

As a dachshund, I can't actually read this book or any other, but I thank Corgi Bernardi from the bottom of my heart for stopping gay marriage, and the widespread cornholing of both urban and rural animals that would have occurred should such a thing have eventuated. Like Corgi, I get all my information from fringe US-based religious websites, and so I must apologise for any misspelling that occurs in this post. As I've said, I am a dachshund and can't read, but Corgi looks very Karl Marx on the cover of his revolution book, just with better skin! As he doesn't have much future in politics, he might want to consider a career in infomercials, if there are any products that need angry stupid people in them. I mean, I'm a supporter (and would vote for him if I lived in South Australia), but let's say that Corgi isn't exactly from the highest branch. Also, I think Corgi will be offended by the "flip to back" function below his photo on this page - it's just not natural! Thankyou for reading.

30 of 30 people found the following review helpful

Does not do what it says on the cover

By Richard L. Watts on January 6, 2014

I read this book hoping to find advice on how to successfully overthrow a tyrannical warmist regime. But there is no details within on how to make gunpowder or bombs contained - not even contact numbers for my local far-right militia! Fail! Nor does THE CONSERVATIVE REVOLUTION contain the sort of information I have expected from Mr Bernadi such as graphic details on homo-beast sex or handy drawings explaining why step-families are inferior to Adam and Even normal red-blooded hetero families. Why have you failed me Corny? In short don't bother buying this book - I swapped it for a copy of ATLAS SHRUGGED that was missing half its pages and feel I have the better end of the bargain.
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29 of 30 people found the following review helpful

The contents are sader


By Charles Esson on January 6, 2014

The man on the front looks sad; is sad. The contents are sadder. If your from a blended family have step sisters and brothers you love and admire, this is not the book for you.

22 of 22 people found the following review helpful

Absolutely awful. Embarrassing to Australians. Misogynistic. Homophobic. Reactionary. Drivel.

By Sandra Bekin on January 6, 2014

These are views that would be right at home in the Deep South of the USA or the Southern Baptists. They are not even Conservative views. (Non Australians please note: The Liberal Party of Australia is a Right Wing party, the Left is the Australian Labor Party. There are no liberals in the Liberal Party.)

24 of 25 people found the following review helpful

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD


By Steven J Darlington on January 6, 2014

The Dark One hungers. In his pit of eternal hatred he squats in the darkness feeding on the screams of the weak. Soon, his blood tide reaches a peak and he will scourge the unbelievers. Cory Bernardi claims he feels the hunger and screams for the blood of innocents, but his devotion to slaughter is not as strong as he would have you believe. His altars are empty. His axe is not stained wtih blood. This is not the Old Ways, Brother Bernardi. You know nothing of our dark rage. You barely even call for the murder of the pregnant women. NNGU'THALI-SZACTA!

18 of 18 people found the following review helpful

Promised much. Delivered little

By Amazon Customer on January 6, 2014

Cory Bernadi is a giant of a fish in the tiny pond we call Australia. He is single-handedly responsible for numerous Australian achievements, from the stump-jump plough and Hill's hoist (mistakenly named after a neighbour) to the recent 5-0 defeat of England in the Ashes test series.

And really, that's why this book is such a disappointment.

Turns out, Bernadi is just a bit of a tool.

965 of 1,034 people found the following review helpful

Take extreme caution.

By May Kadoody on January 6, 2014

A good friend and I perform an annual gift exchange, where we purchase each other the least suitable present imaginable. This year my friend received merkin underpants and I unwrapped "The Conservative Revolution". I congratulated her on winning this round, and threw the book in my drawer ne'er to be seen again.

Or so I thought.

Two weeks ago I hosted a dinner party at my apartment. We discussed how luscious Sarah Hanson Young's hair is whilst dining on miso glazed tofu, then retired to the sitting room for port. I entered the room to find guests whispering worriedly; as I approached my heart leapt into my throat - Bernardi's book was lying on the coffee table. Despite assurances it was a joke gift, my friends left hurriedly. I glared at the offending paperback and tossed it in the bin, confused and angry.

My life started to spiral out of control after this, everytime I met up with friends "The Conservative Revolution" would inexplicably be on my person. After I was nearly mobbed at a Newtown cafe, my friends asked that I stop calling. I tried leaving the book in a Salvation Army bin, on a bench, in a skip, but it would always be back in my loungeroom or bag. I even tried to burn it: the darkness behind Bernardi on the cover grew deeper - as though it absorbed the flames, but the remainder of the book wasn't even singed. Yesterday I returned home to find my collection of Sarah Waters novels thrown off the balcony, and a giant portrait of Julie Bishop painted on the wall. I feel as though Cory is watching me with those fanatical eyes, judging my sinful lifestyle.

If anyone knows an atheist celebrant I can hire to perform a conservative exorcism, please let me know.


Okay, it's school holidays ....


... so who let the kids loose at APN?

Climatology 101 sees students provided with locations' air pressure readings and then requires them to prepare synoptic charts that involves joining places of equal air pressure - the lines drawn are called isobars.

Seems some bright spark at APN is doing a bit of in-house child minding during the school holidays. Well, that's the conclusion this reader arrived at after reading The Daily Examiner's weather reports lately. The evidence? Look at the weather maps (below) that appeared in The Examiner this week.

Here's DEX's map for Friday it (appeared on Thursday January 9):

And here's the BOM's map:


Need more evidence?

Here are more efforts provided by APN in DEX this week.


Since when have isobars been drawn using a ruler, and thus appearing as straight lines? 

Seems someone at APN gave their kids new pencils and rulers for Christmas and headed them in the direction of the weather page.


Images from The Daily Examiner (digital edition) and Bureau Of Meteorology.

Thursday, 9 January 2014

Remember when Tony Abbott was......



Edwards v Ibbotson - Round One Thousand & One



John Ibbotson of 24 Rosella Road, Gulmarrad (author of a ‘vanity press’ book denying climate change) has a heavy dose of irony poured over his head in a letter to the editor in The Daily Examiner  on 28 December 2013:

Ice storms in 'hoax'
News from the US (December 24) provides more evidence to the Gulmarrad branch of the Flat-Earth Society, allowing them to expose the clever hoax being perpetrated on the human race by climate change advocates.
News from the US read: "Ice storms wreak Christmas travel chaos from Canada to US mid-west with dangerous storms stretching from Texas to Nova Scotia, leaving 15 killed and more than a million without power. This extraordinary winter weather brings deadly ice storms, flooding and tornadoes, caused when a bitterly cold air system from the west smashed into an unseasonably warm bubble of air moving up the Atlantic coast, creating a swath of dangerous storms."
"This is truly one of the worst ice storms we have ever seen here in Ontario," said Anthony Haines, chief executive of Toronto Hydro. New York governor Andrew Cuomo declared an emergency upstate as a result of the winter ice storm.
Meanwhile, a woman was killed when a "rare winter tornado zipped through Arkansas" with 130mph winds. Five were killed in flooding in Kentucky, and six people perished on the icy roads.
Just to make the hoax even more imaginative, the conspirators arranged well-above-average temperatures in the Mid-Atlantic states, where "New York City and Washington DC experienced unseasonably mild weather, with temperatures hitting a record 71 and 72 degrees Fahrenheit respectively in those cities".
Those tricksters, hundreds of top climate scientists from around the world, even came up with an imaginative explanation for it all, saying it was the result of changing jet streams.
Aren't we lucky there are some level heads around to alert us to this hoax.
John Edwards
South Grafton

Ibbotson replied with his usual farrago of half-truths on 3 January 2014:


Altered mindset
VIV Forbes' "Termite generation" (DEX, 28/12) was a to-the-point letter, which described where Australia has been and where it is going.
We've gone from having a mentality of working hard and productively, developing resources and industries, and building a country to be proud of to a land where the only productive thing being done is to destroy this legacy and put us on the scrapheap.
Whether we like it or not, we need to be working on how we are going to provide for a healthy, wealthy, society of 50million people (including our future generations as the warmers like to remind us).
Paradoxically, the other letter, John Edwards's rambling ice-storm in "Hoax" (DEX, 28/12) was nothing but a weather report of a typical NE US December. I lived in New York City for a number of years and the kind of weather John described is typical of December in the US.
The US is subject to wild extremes of weather because it can have hot +30C winds blowing up from Mexico and -30C winds blowing down from Canada. Where the winds meet, the temperature differential over a few miles can be amazing.
Next John will be telling us that the research ship stuck in ice is just a figment of the sceptics' imagination or just another example of anthropogenic global warming. How could this be when Douglas Mawson's ship, a wooden schooner with auxiliary engine power made its voyage in 1911, but a modern ice-strengthened ship full of global warming advocates is stuck in 3m of ice, when the world has supposedly warmed?
Not only that, but the ice was too thick for a Chinese icebreaker to reach them, so rescue is now up to an Australian icebreaker, which is designed to go through only 1m of ice and had itself been trapped in ice for three weeks in November.
Maybe all this is really due to the fact that the Antarctic ice has been increasing for 30 years, sea ice has increased by one million square km and is currently +2 standard deviations (which is a lot), above the 1980-2010 average and last year they measured the coldest ever world temperature of -138.8C. .
John Ibbotson
Gulmarrad

NOTE

Department of the Environment Australian Antarctic Division, last modified 6 December 2013:

The western Antarctic Peninsula region has shown a decline in sea ice extent, particularly in the Bellingshausen Sea, consistent with the recent change to more northerly winds and surface warming observed there. In contrast, sea ice in the Ross and Weddell seas is expanding. These changes involve both changes in sea ice extent and in the length of season during which sea ice is present each year......
An ensemble of numerical climate models predicts that Antarctic sea ice area will reduce by a third by 2100. Such reductions will be a result of feedback changes between the sea ice and oceanic and atmospheric circulation. Changes in sea ice seasonality (the timing of annual sea ice advance and retreat) are also expected, which will impact on the ecosystems of the Southern Ocean including its wildlife......
In the western Antarctic Peninsula, sea ice decline has largely been driven by an intensification of more northerly winds during autumn-spring, leading to wind-induced ice compaction. The sea ice changes are also coincident with an increase in average winter air temperature of 5.8°C between 1950 and 2005, attributed to climate change.
In the western Ross Sea region the increase in sea ice has been attributed to both a strengthening of westerly winds and a more frequent southerly outflow of winds from the continent, associated with the persistence of a deep low-pressure anomaly in the Amundsen Sea.
Intensive research is continuing using both modelling and observations to better understand changes in the large-scale patterns of atmospheric circulation around Antarctica, their complex impacts on observed changes in sea ice, and possible feedback mechanisms involved, as well as connections with atmospheric processes in other parts of the world.

UPDATE


The Australian 11 January 2014:

Satellite and aerial reconnaissance by the British Antarctic Survey shows that four colonies of emperors have been forced to forgo the usual sea-ice breeding grounds and repair to firmer ice shelves that jut from the continent.

Wednesday, 8 January 2014

This is what Japan's 'scientific' research in the Southern Ocean looks like




A few bad opinion polls and the old 'Media Tart' is back


Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott ended 2013 with the polls firmly running against him and faced with an increasingly sceptical mainstream media.

So despite his very public resolve not to feed the media and remain aloof, Abbott is once more reverting to type.

The Sporting PM on 3 January 2014 hamming it up for a national radio audience:

Action Man obliging the televised medium on 2 January 2014 at busy Queenscliff beach near Manly:



Then there was Abbott on his own social media Twitter account:

Happy New Year! If ever we should enter a New Year full of optimism, it is 2014. #HappyNewYear http://youtu.be/ooo5UgZUeTA 
Tony Abbott ‏@TonyAbbottMHR 24 Dec

From my family to yours, I wish you a happy, a peaceful and a safe Christmas. #merrychristmas http://youtu.be/mQIm769GxaI 
Hugh Jackman ‏@RealHughJackman 19 Dec

Incredible day for adoption. Deb with PM Tony Abbott. Change is coming. #thedebs #change #AUhttp://instagram.com/p/iFppfZChEQ/ 
 Tony Abbott @TonyAbbottMHR 17 Dec
Thanks to everyone who brought almost 500 presents for the @wishing_tree in my office. All gifts going to @salvos. pic.twitter.com/3Cc7sFXw2u
Tony Abbott @TonyAbbottMHR 16 Dec
It was good to see fellow members from @DavidsonNSWRFS raising funds in Balgowlah this morning. @NSWRFS pic.twitter.com/3TqL17L41n
Tony Abbott @TonyAbbottMHR 16 Dec
Great to be in my electorate @woolworths Balgowlah to help launch the Dick Smith Food Foundation pic.twitter.com/DTGIbEIhQf
Tony Abbott @TonyAbbottMHR 15 Dec
Great to catch up with @DarrynLyons & @SHendersonMP at the opening of RACV Torquay Resort pic.twitter.com/TWTRKMKdkd
Darryn Lyons @DarrynLyons15 Dec
What a great morning so good to have Prime Minister @TonyAbbottMHR in town @Geelong_Mayor pic.twitter.com/wQnbjJv7VR
 Retweeted by Tony Abbott
Tony Abbott @TonyAbbottMHR 15 Dec
A quick pit stop at the excellent Laneway 73 in Anglesea. Good brew! pic.twitter.com/Fycys8vUYW

There also appears to be have been one Coalition measure put in place on Twitter by 28 December 2013 to ensure voters didn't forget Abbott while he was on holidays:


Topsy reveals that this December 2013 flurry was at least the second time around that year for this particular form of Abbott spam.

These are a selection of those tweets sent during the federal election campaign:

Paid Parental Leave is a winner for Tony Abbott.
       4 months ago
Paid parental leave is a winner for Tony Abbott.#PaidParentalLeaveIsAWinnerForTonyAbbott. cc @PaidParentalLeaveIsAWinnerForTonyAbbott
Paid parental leave is a winner for Tony Abbott.
      4 months ago
Paid Parental Leave is a winner for Tony Abbott
Paid parental leave is a winner for Tony Abbott. Very generous every one gets it. Small levy on business What's not to like #MTP
      4 months ago
Paid parental leave is a winner for Tony Abbott. [I'm not a robot]
<    4 months ago
Paid parental leave is a winner for Tony Abbott #ausvotes #TweetLikeASpamBot
Paid Parental Leave is a winner for Tony Abbott... and women earning more than twice the national average #AusPol
Paid parental leave is a winner for Tony Abbott.
      4 months ago
Paid parental leave is a winner for Tony Abbott.
      4 months ago
@Bearhusky Let's be crystal clear about this - paid parental leave is a winner for Tony Abbott #auspol #ausvotes
      4 months ago
Paid parental leave is a winner for Tony Abbott.
      4 months ago
Paid parental leave is a winner for Tony Abbott
      4 months ago
Paid parental leave is a winner for Tony Abbott.
      4 months ago
Paid parental leave is a winner for Tony Abbott.
      4 months ago
Why is a real estate company in the USA saying that? RT @realestateca Paid parental leave is a winner for Tony Abbott. #ausvotes
      4 months ago
RT @scottsues: Paid parental leave is a winner for Tony Abbott. HELP! THEY'VE GOT ME! DON'T BELIEVE ANYTH *single gun shot, line goes dead*

Tuesday, 7 January 2014

It didn't take long for advertorials to rear their ugly heads in The Daily Examiner again


A local resident complained to me about what he described as a return to "the Chapman ways" with The Daily Examiner indulging select businesses with free advertorials.

Chapman being an editor who briefly graced Grafton with his presence and left once he realised that the social temperature was dropping in his vicinity.

There are no two ways about this print and online article in The Daily Examiner on 31 December 2013 - it is an advertorial pure and simple masquerading as local news on Page Three:

Just as the online real estate advertisement in the same issue also attempted to pass itself off as news.

Not that there are likely to be too many letters to the editor or online comments on the subject which see the light of day, as APN News & Media has recently issued a blanket warning that any criticisms of its journalistic efforts must be written in the mildest of terms or they won't be published or posted.

Apparently, when faced with paying for a print newspaper containing faux news APN would like its readers to be "positive". Oh dear........