Thursday's Column 8 - you'd reckon Fairfax could afford to put this online

Kevin Ryan, of Wahroonga, was in Penrith South a few days ago, and reports driving past a car wrecker's yard. The name of the business? "Khartoum."

"Koel alert! Koel alert!" we are warned by Anne Moore, of Waverley. "Heard on Monday at 6.45am. I think this is even earlier than my reported first koel in Column 8 a couple of years back, Soon there will be no first report we'll have koels permanently in residence."

More on affect/effect, from Anton Crouch, of Glebe (Column 8, Tuesday): "A simple rule is to use 'affect' as a verb and 'effect' as a noun. Then you'll be right 99 per cent of the time in conversation and 90 per cent of the time in writing. If you want real pedantry (as opposed to Keith Binns's partial attempt), both 'affect' and 'effect' can be used as a verb and a noun. There's also a use of 'affect' where it means something like 'to pretend to'. But all this gets too hard - the simple rule given above will suit for most of us." Yes indeed, Anton. Most effective.

"Tuesday's headline 'Vet on receiving end as whipping becomes frenzied', writes Duccio Cocquio, of Hunters Hill, "reminds me of an old one from the Wellington Dominion that read 'Drive to ban horse whipping mushrooms'. Very evocative: was it a mad horse whipping the poor mushrooms or a cluster of cruel fungi hitting the innocent horse?" Hard to say but wouldn't the second interpretation require a hyphen?

"I did particularly enjoy the back page of the Sport section in Tuesday's Herald," writes Allan Roberts, of Marrickville, "where the article on Kim Clijsters wining the US Open stated that 'She scrambled with the agility of a gymnast to her players' box to find her husband, Brian Lynch, a professional basketball'." What does a professional basketball earn, we wonder? It'd be hard work.

Richard Sewell theorises that the birds circling pylons of the Anzac Bridge at night are attracted to insects, which in turn are attracted by the bright lights. We now recall that we raised this subject two or three years back, when birds were going crazy around the Harbour Bridge during a bogong moth plague. And lo and behold, a bogong flew out of our wardrobe this morning. What are we in for?

"I was brought up in Blackburn, Lancashire, UK," writes Robert Heathcote, of Newcastle, "a cotton- weaving town. All the older members of my family were weavers and used the term 'cotton on' a lot to mean 'Do you get the idea?'. (Column 8, Saturday). "But they all acknowledged that it derived from the process in weaving where a thread breaks, and they had to 'cotton on' to resume the job. I think also it could mean to start work, or a new job, but it definitely comes from cotton weaving."

"My wife bought a litre of orange juice from Harris Farm Markets at Bridgepoint, Spit Junction," reports Peter Schramko, of Artarmon. "The label reads '100% SQUIZEED ORANGE JUICE'. Does that mean that someone has had a good look at it?"

Column8@smh.com.au(no attachments please).Phone 9282 2207 fax 9282 2772. (include name, suburb, daytime phone)

Source: The Sydney Morning Herald, 17/9/09

Monsanto spinning so hard that its head faces backwards?

On 23 July 2008 the Molokai Dispatch published an editorial titled Monsanto Could be its Own Worst Enemy: Using too much water could force the company to downsize.

This editorial pointed out that:

Last November, General Manager of Monsanto Molokai Ray Foster said that the company was sensitive to the island's water needs and that Monsanto had a water conservation program for times of drought.
Last month however, amidst a 20% water cutbacks mandated by the Molokai Irrigation System (MIS), Monsanto is requesting an increase to its water use. However with water supply levels in the Kualapu`u reservoir over 60 million gallons short of where it was this time last year, many are left wondering where the water will come from?
The MIS was built for the Hawaiian Homesteaders which is why the law reserves two thirds of its water for Hawaiians. As the MIS becomes short on water due to dilapidation and drought, Hawaiian Homesteaders are beginning to feel the pressure.
Non-homestead ag-users like Monsanto currently account for 84% of MIS water consumption. Monsanto itself is using almost twice the amount of water of all 209 homestead users combined.

In a previous article titled Homesteaders Confront MIS:Water scarcity and increasing demands raise concerns the newspaper had reported that:

Water demand continues to increase, while supplies plummet. In one month, the Molokai Irrigation System (MIS) reservoir has dropped 50 million gallons, from 19 feet to 17 feet. Despite the Hawaiian homesteader's two-thirds right to water, roughly 80 percent of MIS supplies are allocated to non-homesteaders.

If the reservoir drops another two feet, a mandatory 20 percent conservation reduction will be issued to all non-homestead users. An advisory board would consult the DOA, which manages the MIS, on how to handle homesteader restrictions.

In an attempt to bypass this cutback, corn-grower Monsanto has proposed to pay for increased MIS pumping from Waikolo Valley. Presently, the DOA is checking into the viability of this proposal by conducting hydrology reports and assessing permit restrictions.

Randolph Teruya, DOA asset manager said Monsanto has increased its producing acreage and water usage in the past year. He also said the DOA will ask all non-homesteaders for a water conservation plan for the upcoming summer, but the agencies hands are tied because conservation enforcement is a county responsibility.

MIS board member James Boswell motioned for the MIS to send a letter to Monsanto to stop watering with a cannon during the day, where most of the water evaporates in the hot sun and wind. The MIS will request watering be done at night for efficiency and conservation.

In the Monsanto & Co. blog Monsanto According To Monsanto on 8 September 2009 when accusing a recent The Guardian U.K. article of selectively quoting the Molokai Dispatch editorial the company blithely did what it allegedly so abhorred in the post Monsanto a Water Bully? Not So.

Nowhere in this Monsanto spin was there any mention of the biotech corporation's desire to increase its water consumption in 2008 and the blog's denial of the existence of a new aquifer is used to deflect from this request to use additional water.

Water which is ultimately sourced from a combination of stream water, spring water and at least one well (sunk into an existing aquifer) within Kalaupapa National Park's Waikolu Valley.

Nor does the company blog mention that it sought to expand land under production during the prolonged drought and asked the Hawaii Dept of Agriculture to service this land with irrigation access.
A request which was denied by the department in July 2008 according to the newspaper, which also pointed to the fact that Monsanto had yet to implement a water conservation plan at that time.

Might I recommend that Monsanto employees acquaint themselves with an excellent little book Straight and Crooked Thinking by RH Thouless, with special attention to the thirty-eight dishonest tricks which are commonly used in argument.

• Financial and Management Audit of the Moloka'i Irrigation System 2008.

The things you see when you don't have a gun....

This week a snapshot turned up in my email and I almost reached for the elephant gun until an appreciation of the absurd took over.
The Daily Examiner team (pictured here) apparently is out to emulate The Australian crew and turn the local rag into a watered down regional variant of that notorious newspaper for climate change doubters.
On 14th September its "Environment: communities caring for the future" page featured a truncated version of what had obviously started life as a letter to the editor (Todd's third or fourth bite at the subject since May this year).
Finally published sans mentioned references it was an attack on the very notion of man made climate change, heavily influence I suspect by Plimer's book Heaven and Earth.
The Daily Examiner is obviously trawling for more letters, but is it being responsible in encouraging this skewed guff to be considered 'news'?


Pic & snapshot
from
The Daily Examiner

What's-his-name: the invisible leader of the Nationals

If you don't know who the leader of the Nats is, don't worry, because you have plenty of mates.

95% of Australians have no idea who he is.

Source: The Age, 16/9/09

Wednesday's Column 8 - ask Fairfax why this is not online at smh.com.au

Wednesday September 16, 2009

"I don't know about the mnemonic for accommodation," confesses Nancy Dickman (Column 8, last week), but when I was in 6th class at Como Public School in 1954 our teacher, a large man with a big voice, would boom 'There is no Como in accommodation!' and I have never forgotten it."

It could have been a lot uglier, Nancy. "When I was young," writes Joanna Davison of Haberfield, "long before spellcheck, my father tested our spelling with the following sentence: 'Accommodated near a cemetery, an embarrassed cobbler met a harassed pedlar gauging the symmetry of a desiccated lady's ankle with unparalleled ecstasy', which contains most of the hardest words to spell."

"The rubbish bins behind the dispensary of a pharmacy must be full at the end of each day with other pharmacies' prescription folders," suggests Annette Minter of Avalon. "This practice drives me crazy when I take in a prescription to a pharmacy that was previously dispensed by a different pharmacy, why do they have to remove the folder and replace it with their own? It is such a waste of paper and doesn't serve any purpose does it?" You wouldn't think so. I'm sure we'll be told if it does probably by a pharmacist, of all people.

Chris Flynn, at the time a temporary resident of the transit lounge at the airport in Singapore, has sent us a page torn from the September 1 edition of The Jakarta Post. He has scrawled at the bottom "What a name!" and encircled the following paragraph:

"The team from the Trade Ministry, made up of five members, was led by Verry Angri Djono, head of Metal, Machine and Electronics Supervision at the Ministry". Crikey, you wouldn't want to be late for a meeting with that bloke, would you?

"For the past four or five nights," reports Neil Godfrey, "I have watched what appear to be flocks of birds swirling around in the lights of the pylons of the Anzac Bridge. What are they up to?" We have no idea, but have also observed this remarkable ornithological ritual recently, and it's quite a sight. The white birds flicker in and out of view as they bank and swerve in and out of the light beams illuminating the flags mesmerising.

Well, someone did it (numerically freakish golf games, and tortuous disputes, Column 8, since Friday). "Like Terrey Hills golf course, the ninth at Coolangatta/Tweed Heads West course is a par five," writes Grahame Marr of Kingscliff. "After going into the water with my tee shot last Wednesday I had a 9, giving me a 9 on the 9th on the 9th of the 9th, 09."

"While looking for the green shoots of economic recovery," writes a cautiously optimistic Will Owens of Clovelly, "my work colleagues and I talked about what the opposite of 'alert but not alarmed' would be, in this context. I thought 'comforted but not jubilant' would be suitable, given the current economic numbers. I won't order the fridge magnets just yet, however."

Column8@smh.com.au(no attachments please).Phone 9282 2207 fax 9282 2772. (include name, suburb, daytime phone)

Source: The Sydney Morning Herald, 16/9/09

Your mother wears army boots and carries a gun!!

The harbinger of a local debate on the role of Australian service women in theatres of conflict?

Every women is either a mother or a potential mother and I am quite sure that no civilised person would want a would-be killer for a mother. [Quote from a The Daily Examiner letter to the editor decrying moves to potentially increase the presence of women on the frontline,11 September 2009]

Which leaves a burning question - when it comes to having a parent in the armed forces what is the difference between having a would-be killer for a mother as opposed to having a would-be killer for a father?

National political nong of the week

This week former Howard Government minister Tony Abbott was again demonstrating why he is unfit to be returned to government.
Not content with the blunt sh*t eating grin line (about Deputy Prime Minister Julia Gillard) trotted out for the media's benefit, he then went on to sabotage Question Time last Monday by deliberately attempting to block a television camera.
A tactic which saw him first warned and then named by the Speaker and at 2.29pm ejected from the House of Reps on an 80 to 62 vote.
The "Mad Monk" easily wins my vote for political nong of the week and that's really saying something coming out of a Coalition barn which saw its cut-out brandishing MPs refuse the Speaker's orders at the beginning of this parliament.
It's pathetic when after more than a year and a half in Oppostion a grown man still can't accept that he is no longer part of the government of the day.

Here is Monday's Column 8 - a reader's protest against Fairfax continues

Fairfax continues to ignore a very large section of its readership by not making this column available online at smh.com.au.

To make your feelings known about this
email Fairfax at readerlink@smh.com.au
phone 02 9282
or fax 02 9282 3253

"Your colleague who found remarkable names for nail polish," writes Adrian Briscoe of Rozelle (Column 8, last week), "might be interested to know that a friend of mine once had one called 'I Am Not a Waitress.' I'm sure many of your readers could come up with even more outrageous names." As it turns out, the company in question has already set the pace. OPI's nail polish website is a treat it's hard to work out whether it's utterly tongue-in-cheek or simply astute, counterintuitive marketing. We assume that there was a very long lunch involved in the concept development of these: "Charged Up Cherries, Dominant Jeans," and our favourite: "part of our Australian collection 'Fair Dinkum Pinkum'." And no, we are not making this up, make-up though she be.

"While I admire Vic Deebles' skill to have a hole-in-one on 9/9/9," writes Chris Lawrenson, of golf courses various, (Column 8, Friday), "the last time I played Terrey Hills, the ninth was a long par five, so unless they have changed the layout substantially, it's a very impressive score!" This is a deeply disturbing allegation. Column 8 will take a day off during the week and play the course, after a lengthy lunch, to be certain of the provenance of the initial claim. On the other hand, it could have been a miraculous slice shot, picked up in the rough by a nesting magpie, and deposited in the hole as a humiliating testimony to the waste of the time and effort by the gentleman in question. Far sillier things have happened in golf.

"A report prepared by Kempsey Council on designs and uses for a street mall at Kempsey," we are advised by a concerned and amused Mike Dutton, of thereabouts, "includes, among suggested events, an 'Antic Market' to be co-ordinated by a 'mall manger'. I wonder what would be for sale there - silly walks? Handstands? The mall is also to be upgraded, in accordance with 'design principals'." Hmm not too flash on the face of it. When's the next council election up there, Mike?

"An ad in the Herald classifieds on Saturday," reports John Williamson of Tewantin, Queensland, "is for the sale of the Bali Villa and Restaurant, which apparently 'runs by itself 150 staff'." We have a feeling that a sceptical John may have been in the catering caper, but if true, it seems a bargain at any price.

We don't often run replies to Heckler columns over here but we've had quite a response to Laura Jardine's rant on Friday about dodgy names for kids. "Every generation has its share of creative names for children," replies Janet Power of Blayney. "In past generations, Wendy and Cynthia raised the eyebrows of grandparents. Any teacher will tell you of the disbelief that greets the list of new enrolments each year, but girls named Jordan and Cameron no longer draw a reaction. It's the fanciful spellings that take our breath away. And as for boys' names, my late father (born in 1922) rejoiced in the name Gladstone. Besides, I have to keep an open mind. Just this week I became proud grandmother to Atlas!" Heavens above, Janet - this load-bearing baby isn't a girl is it?

Column8@smh.com.au(no attachments please).Phone 9282 2207 fax 9282 2772. (include name, suburb, daytime phone)

Source: The Sydney Morning Herald, 14/09/09

Here's what Fairfax doesn't want its SMH online readers to see

Herald's Column8 is no longer online.

While Fairfax was shouting from its roof top about its new online National Times, elsewhere in the building The Sydney Morning Herald was being detoured through another route.

Fairfax powers-that-be decreed that as of yesterday (Monday 14 September) the Herald's very popular Column 8 would no longer be available online.

What's next? Will Fairfax start charging its Herald readers for the privilege of reading it online.?

Sounds suspiciously like Fairfax is out to out-do News Ltd with its Murdoch view of the world that online content should have a price tag attached.

Here are a couple of pars from today's Column8.

Who is this bloke?

95% of Australians have no idea who he is.

And, I suspect, the other 5% wish they didn't.

He is invisible to women: only 2% could name him compared with 7% of men.

The Age's Michelle Grattan writes, "An astonishing 95 per cent cannot correctly name the leader of the Nationals.

For almost all voters, Warren Truss is the man who isn't there. An Age/Nielsen poll has found that only 5 per cent of voters can correctly name the Nationals leader - a far cry from the high profile of, say, Tim Fischer, even in opposition.

Mr Truss doesn't even register in the non-metropolitan areas: only 6 per cent of those outside the capitals named him, compared with 4 per cent of capital cities voters.

Unsurprisingly, 3 per cent believed the party's flamboyant Senate leader, Barnaby Joyce, had the top job. If those who couldn't get his name exactly right were added in, the figure increases to 4 per cent.

Swinburne University politics professor Brian Costar said that ''with lots of caveats'', he thought the Nationals should make Senator Joyce leader, although there was the problem of finding him a lower house seat. ''He's the sort of leader the followers want. Some of the parliamentary party would raise their eyebrows, but many of the branch members and supporters would think it was heaven on a stick.''

Heaven on a stick! Cripes, Barnaby reminds me of something on a stick, but it's certainly not heaven!

pic credit: The Age

One of the Clarence Valley's resident "opinionated jerks" is at it again

Once more a journalist who obviously has some difficulty with feminism is holding forth on how bad things are for Australian men.

Snapshot The Daily Examiner, 10 September 2009

Click to enlarge

Still he is getting slightly better at pushing the case that men deserve a day of their own - this time he does not say that he doesn't care what feminists think (or as he likes to refer to this group - my angry little friends - as North Coast Voices previously pointed out in Pink shirts and pig ignorance on the NSW North Coast).

However, the same complaining (almost competitive) thread continues that men are actually worse off than women because of three statistical categories.

Well here is one category the journalist obviously does not care to consider:

Approximately 700,000 women who experienced violence by a partner in a previous relationship were pregnant at some time during the relationship. 42 percent of these women (292,100) reported that violence occurred during a pregnancy and 20 percent experienced violence for the first time when they were pregnant .....

About three people in Australia are killed each fortnight by a lover, spouse or former partner. More than a quarter of the 2,226 killings in Australia between 1989 and 1996 were "intimate homicides" between close partners.....
Intimate homicides are also predominantly committed by males, but in this context most of the victims are females. In 77% of homicide incidents involving intimate partners, a male killed a female; while a female killed a male in 21% of these incidents. [Flood,Michael, [1998],"Statistics on violence"]

Graham Orams would get a lot more female support for his lobbying for a local Dad's Day event if he could resist the urge to indulge in a little feminist bashing along the way.

See: "Orams Returns! (groan)"

Latest 2009 global climate change risk reports

From the Maplecroft.NET Limited media release Climate change risk list highlights vulnerable nations and safe havens on 3 September 2009:

Norway, Finland, Japan, Canada and New Zealand are the countries best placed to weather the effects of climate change, while Africa hosts 22 of 28 “extreme risk” countries, according to the Climate Change Vulnerability Index (CCVI), released today by global risks consultancy, Maplecroft.

The CCVI is part of Maplecroft’s new Climate Change Risk Report 2009/10. It rates 166 countries on their capacity to mitigate risks to society and the business environment posed by changing patterns in natural hazards, such as droughts, flooding, storms and sea level rises and the resulting effects on ecosystems.

Unlike other studies, the index does not attempt to predict changes to patterns of natural hazards or ecosystems as a result of climate change, but instead measures how vulnerable a country is now and how well prepared it is to combat the impacts of climate change.

Norway, (166), is the lowest ranked country in the CCVI and best equipped to address the challenges of climate change. Among the factors contributing to its ranking are its low population density, excellent health-care and communications systems, good governance and a strong institutional framework. Additionally, Norway’s overall food, water and energy security are high and its ecosystems are well protected.
The countries least at risk after Norway are Finland (165), Japan (164), Canada (163) and New Zealand (162). Other low risk countries include UK (155), USA (152) and Germany (151).

Japan’s ranking relates to its institutional stability, strong economy and high net primary productivity. However, 10% of Japan’s population live in Tokyo (5,847 people per km2 in 2007) and as Japan’s population increases, so too will the stress on surrounding natural resources and the land, making it vitally important that Japan addresses its climate change vulnerabilities.

Poorer nations, particularly those located in Sub-Saharan and West Africa, with few natural resources and limited infrastructures are rated as particularly vulnerable by the CCVI. Somalia (1), Haiti (2), Afghanistan (3), Sierra Leone (4) and Burundi (5) are rated most at risk, while other extreme risk countries include Nepal (11), Bangladesh (12), Sri Lanka (25) and Cambodia (27).

Somalia’s ability to adapt to climate change is severely undermined by food insecurity, conflict and political violence and human rights risk, whereas in Haiti, declining water quality and the rising risk of food and energy insecurity all contribute to its very poor rating.
India (56) is the only emerging economy to be rated as high risk.This is due to high population density, increased security risk, poor resource security and concerns about human rights violations. India’s vulnerability is of particular concern to business because of its huge role in global supply chains.
Other countries of concern include Pakistan (29), Philippines (44) and Indonesia (61), which all rated high risk, whilst Brazil (103) and China (110) are categorized as medium risk, with Russia (127) rated as low risk.

The full report is available at a price, however The Sydney Morning Herald article on 11 September stated that this report ranked Australia at 33 out of 135 on its unsustainable energy index and 156 out of 166 on its vulnerability to climate change index.
Australia was also said to have been recorded with a per capita energy consumption of 20.58 tonnes per year compared with a U.S. per capita consumption of 19.78 tonnes per year.

While the Maplecroft report assessed Australia's current vulnerability, a month earlier the Australian Strategic Policy Institute (setup and partially funded by government) released another report Hardening Australia: Climate change and national disaster resilience which factored in future increases in climate change and infrastructure impacts and can be accessed at Download PDF .

This report warns that climate change may be a homeland security issue.

Ahead of the G20 2009 Pittsburgh summit, yesterday E3G and the Australian Climate Institute released the G20 Low Carbon Competitiveness Report, which placed Australia on the lower rungs (fifth from the bottom on the index) when it came to carbon competitiveness but nearer the top when it came to low carbon improvement although the rate of improvement was considered too slow.

Australia's poor showing is primarily due to our dependency on carbon intensive production for income, including carbon intensive exports, high levels of car ownership, high transport fuel consumption and carbon intensive electricity production.

It is one of the three countries mentioned as requiring the largest turnarounds in carbon productivity.

Full E3G/ACI 14 September 2009 report

Media release

One blogger is not playing the game according to the England and Wales Cricket Board

The live streaming for free blog http://britcric.blogspot.com has run foul of the England and Wales Cricket Board who have sent Google a cease and desist notice, because the blog is linking to an "infringing third party" site http://go4gold.webs.com/channel%201.html.

Apparently linking in this case is considered LBW and out!

Clarence Valley athlete comes first in his age group in 2009 Gold Coast ITU Aquathlon World Championships

File photograph from The Daily Examiner

Ray Hunt of Yamba NSW

Ray Hunt had a good meet when he participated in the IUT World Triathlon Championships on the Gold Goast last week.
A first and a fifth place in his age group is not to be sneezed at when competing against atheltes from around the world and shows what dedication to a healthy lifestyle in retirement can achieve.