The Brand Names Gazette, Est 1859

Maud up the Street has been having a word in my ear about a local rag she calls The Brand Names Gazette.
At first I couldn't bring to mind the newspaper she was griping about - then she mentioned the number of advertising inserts falling out of the middle of most issues and I realised she was talking about The Daily Examiner out of Grafton.

Maud like most of us has noticed that the number of 'advertorials' seem to have increased since Peter Chapman became editor - to the point where he is no longer game to label his comment as an editorial.
What really galls however, is the number of news articles which contain clumsy attempts at brand placement or are naked puff pieces on behalf of local real estate agents, developers and businesses.
Though I swear that the birds are worse than the blokes on this moan - Clarencegirl is almost apoplectic when she talks about those puff pieces, although she swears that three retired blokes in Yamba beat her hands down when it comes to loathing how the newspaper reports lately.

While he's busy wrecking an historic regional paper, Chappie is also failing to win friends and influence people in his new home town as this little gem below shows.
What do they say about pets and their owners?

Click on image to enlarge

How a picture of a train on your blog may get you on the Rudd-Conroy internet filtering blacklist

The Minister for Broadband, Communications and the Digital Economy, Stephen Conroy, has previously stated that his national mandatory ISP-level filtering scheme will rely on the Australian Communications and Media Authority (ACMA) for a black list which lays the foundation of what Internet content is not acceptable to the federal government.

Now most Australian blogs would not be able to conceive of the possibility of falling foul of ACMA.

However, Australian blogs often contain an image to brighten up the web page or illustrate a post.
In the strange times in which we now live even the picture of a train may excite the attentions of the Australian Broadcasting Authority and Classification Board on which ACMA in its turn relies for the kernel of its URL blacklist.

Here is a classic example of why the Rudd-Conroy plan to bleach the Internet 'middle-class conservative' may go pear-shaped:

Classification: Processing Date:	PG 20/10/2000	OFLC No: ABA No.	T00/3317 A2000001818
URL might be:	http://www.melbgraff.cjb.net
OFLC Synopsis:	"A still photo referred for classification by the ABA. The front of a train with a small amount of graffiti is pictured in close up. Text below the picture refers to the Internet Privacy Act in the USA".
Extract from OFLC Board Report:	"...This film warrants a PG classification as it contains adult themes that could be confusing or upsetting to children without adult guidance. ... The still photograph shows the front of a Melbourne train, pictured close up with a small amount of graffiti on it. Text below the picture refers to the Internet Privacy Act in the USA and has some other vague references to graffiti. There is no instruction or promotion of graffiti or any other illegal activity on this website page. Given that the word graffiti is mentioned and the front of the train is pictured with graffiti markings the Board is of the opinion that this concept may require explanation or guidance from a parent to any person under 15 years of age".

What I want to know is - when did childhood turn into some weird form of psychopathology which requires an entire nation to be placed in a giant straightjacket in order for the young 'patients' to survive?

NB. My apologies in advance to Warwick County Council in the United Kingdom if my use of their steam train image sees that webpage blocked by the Great Firewall of Australia (the engine is smoking after all!)

The Member for Richmond shows us her aged care report card

Yesterday the Minister for Ageing and Member fo Richmond,Justine Elliot released a Report Card of Achievements in Aged and Community Care:

In the last 365 days, the Rudd Government has:

• Begun investing more than $41.6 billion over the next four years into aged and community care;
• Increased funding to community care in 2008-2009 to $2.2 billion – an increase of $260 million over 2007-2008 – recognising that older Australians want to remain at home and independent as long as possible;
• Allocated 228 transition care places under its $293.2 million four-year election commitment;
• Offered $150 million in Zero Interest Real Loans as part of Round One of $300 million election commitment to create nursing home beds in areas of high need;
• Announced an Indigenous Aged Care plan worth more than $46 million;
• Introduced improvements to quality/compliance, including strengthening accreditation standards and processes, extending police checks and better arrangements for missing residents;
• Increased unannounced visits by the Aged Care Standards and Accreditation Agency to nursing homes to record levels;
• Selected Australian actor, Ms Noeline Brown as Australia's Ambassador for Ageing;
• Expanded programs to retain, recruit and support nurses and personal care workers to the aged care sector; and
• Made improvements to aged care assessments, including a rapid response team and reducing duplication – helping older Australians access aged and community care services when they need them.

I have to say that any change that this funding represents is going to happen slowly on the NSW North Coast if past instances are any indication.

The complete report card can be found here.

Some of the quotes that have stuck between my ears.........

You won't have Nixon to kick around anymore - Richard Milhouse Nixon in 1962 when he lost the election for Governor of California.

You won't have me to kick around anymore - Koala in the Qantas television advert which had to be withdrawn from the U.S. market many years later.

Don't vote it only encourages them - an oldie but a goodie from the mythical 60s graffiti.

I did not have sexual relations with that woman - U.S. President Bill Clinton (with fingers crossed).

All we are saying is give peace a chance - John Lennon and the Plastic Ono Band

Eternity - footpath graffiti seen on childhood visits to Sydney.

There is no way that GST will be part of our policy. Never ever. It's dead. It was killed by the voters at the last election. - Prime Minister John Winston Howard as he waited for the ideal moment to introduce a Goods and Services Tax.

If the wind changes your face will stay that way - timeless admonishment from a grandmother.

"The battle of Iraq is one victory in a war on terror that began on September 11, 2001, and still goes on." - U.S. President George W. Bush delving into phantasy in 2003

No thanks. Mum's doing a lamb roast - a put down line which will always be associated with Tom Cruise.

Come on Aussie, come on, come on
Come on Aussie, come on
Come on Aussie, come on, come on
Come on Aussie, come on - a sporting ear worm from the 70s.

Well may we say "God save the Queen" because nothing will save the Governor-General. - Edward Gough Whitlam on the day his government was dismissed in November 1975.

they would shoot the girls first but they knew well I was not there or I would have scattered their blood and brains like rain I would manure the Eleven mile with their bloated carcasses and yet remember there is not one drop of murderous blood in my Veins - Ned Kelly writing in the Jerilderie Letter about police treatment of his sisters, presumably without a touch of irony.

From blogger to pollie: Stephen Mayne elected to local government

Stephen Mayne, Australia's favourite shareholder activist and possibly its only perennial shareholder activist, has announced that he's just been elected to Mannigham City Council.
Here's the low-down in his Mayne Report.
Congratulations Stevo, I look forward to hearing that you're throwing your heart and soul into the job.

Graphic from The Mayne Report

Can Therese Rein ever be seen with Kevin Rudd again?

Shown here are a media photograph and a cartoon of the Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd.
Mr. Rudd and his communications minister want to impose a national ISP-level filtering system on the Australian Internet.

LogiPik is one form of filtering software guaranteed to stop unwanted images in their tracks.

Here is its assessment of the Kevin Rudd cartoon:
Evaluated as: p*rn
Completed in 1 sec.

And here is its assessment of the Kevin Rudd photograph:
Evaluated as: p*rn
Completed in 2 sec.

Additionally, here is its assessment of a media photograph of Kevin Rudd and child (not shown here, because what child wants to be reminded that they were once close to the man that a filter rejected):
Evaluated as: p*rn
Completed in 12 sec.

Yes, it's staring us in the face - Kevin the PM p*rn star.

With such a 'dubious' moral character on display for all the world to see; can Therese really afford to keep this man?
Especially when the chance exists that at least one of the various filtering software/hardware systems (that would be used by ISPs if the Great Firewall of Australia comes to pass) will frequently label her husband and life partner as a piece of p*rnography.
Because, let's face it, Australian ISPs are bound to rely on systems which in turn rely on dubious software and blacklists found overseas.

Cartoon from Strange Times and photo from Time Magazine

One step closer to the removal of a federal minister's right to deny access to information using a conclusive certificate

The Freedom of Information (Removal of Conclusive Certificates and Other Measures) Bill 2008 is finally before the Australian Parliament and the text can be found at Com Law.

The primary purpose of the Bill is to repeal the power to issue conclusive certificates in the Freedom of Information Act 1982 (the FOI Act) and the Archives Act 1983 (the Archives Act) for all exemption provisions where certificates may be issued.

The proposal to repeal the power to issue conclusive certificates forms part of the Government's 2007 election commitments made in its policy statement, Government information: restoring trust and integrity.

The effect of the repeal of the certificate power will be that the AAT may undertake full merits review of all exemption claims.

This Bill does not seek to alter the exemption provisions in Part IV of the FOI Act or in Division 3 Part V of the Archives Act, except to the extent that it repeals the power to issue conclusive certificates. Where a document or record properly falls within an exemption category in those Acts (for example, documents affecting personal privacy or documents whose release could damage national security, defence or international relations), access may be refused.

Existing conclusive certificates will be revoked if and when a new request for access to a document or record covered by a certificate is received.