Are we safe? Can I come out from under the bed yet?

“Nothing bad will happen to the Earth in 2012. Our planet has been getting along just fine for more than 4 billion years, and credible scientists worldwide know of no threat associated with 2012.” {National Aeronautics and Space Administration}

I’m getting in early to back NASA’s take on the Doomsday scenario being touted for 21 December 2012 – before those chain emails telling me my end is nigh according to the Bible or the Mayan Calendar begin to arrive in tiresome droves.

For those who would rather enjoy the thrill of the scare, here is a Wikipedia list of the joyful hand of the great bearded father in the sky mass extinction event possibilities awaiting us over the next twelve months, two years, decade, century or wad eva…..

·         A sudden change in the physical constants governing the universe, such as that created by a vacuum metastability event.^[2]

·         A close approach of a black hole to the solar system.^[3]

·         A gamma ray burst or other devastating blast of cosmic radiation.^[4] One especially deadly hypothesized source is a hypernova, produced when a hypergiant star explodes and then collapses, sending vast amounts of radiation sweeping across hundreds of lightyears. Hypernovas have never been observed; however, a hypernova may have been the cause of the Ordovician–Silurian extinction events. The nearest hypergiant is Eta Carinae, approximately 8,000 light-years distant.

·         A drastic and unusual decrease or increase in Sun's power output; a solar superstorm leading to partial or complete electrical or technological death of human civilization. (See solar flare.)

·         Abrupt geomagnetic reversal and/or drastic decrease of magnetic field of the planet Earth. Consequences can be the same as in the cases of cosmic radiation or solar radiation blasts.

·         The solar system passing through a cosmic dust cloud, leading to a severe global climate change.^[5]

·         An abrupt repositioning of Earth rotation axis.^[6] It could be caused by extremely powerful internal geological or/and external cosmic factors. If it happens abruptly (and not slowly within a very prolonged interval of time) it will generate enormous multiple earthquakes, multiple volcano eruptions, a hypercane or multiple megacyclones, giant tidal waves and megatsunamis all around the globe.

·         An impact event causing a collision (or extremely close passage) of a large meteorite, asteroid or comet. A common theory postulates that the extinction of the dinosaurs occurred approximately 65 million years ago as a result of the Cretaceous–Tertiary extinction event when a large asteroid struck the earth, producing atmospheric dust which blocked solar energy and caused a significant lowering of temperatures worldwide ("nuclear winter"). Evidence for this theory includes a sedimentary layer of iridium in the geological record and a large crater in the area of Chicxulub, Mexico. The Tunguska event (1908) was on a much smaller scale. In the case of a close passage of an object (a large asteroid, comet or planet) with a significant gravitational impact on Earth, the consequences could be the same as in the case of an abrupt repositioning of Earth rotation axis. And such a repositioning of the axis would not necessarily have to take place for the earth to see the same global effects.

·         A geological event such as massive flood basalt, volcanism, or the eruption of a supervolcano^[7] leading to the so called Volcanic Winter (Similar to a Nuclear Winter). One such event, the Toba Eruption,^[8] occurred in Indonesia about 71,500 years ago. According to the Toba catastrophe theory,^[9] the event may have reduced human populations to only a few tens of thousands of individuals. Yellowstone Caldera is another such supervolcano, having undergone 142 or more caldera-forming eruptions in the past 17 million years.^[10] Massive volcano eruption(s) will produce extraordinary intake of volcanic dust, toxic and greenhouse gases into the atmosphere with serious effects on global climate (towards extreme global cooling (nuclear winter when in short term and ice age when in long term) or global warming (if greenhouse gases prevail)).

·         An exceptionally devastating hypercane^[11] probably combined with global dust storm, taking up to the atmosphere enormous quantities of dust.

·         A global pandemic (assuming that the causing agent of the pandemic would have a natural origin) with very high or even 100% mortality rate.^[12] ………..

·         A global pandemic with very high or even 100% mortality rate caused by a human-made infectious agent, which could be released among population on purpose. The source could be an individual, a laboratory workers group, a terrorist group, governmental or international organization.

·         A nuclear, chemical, or biological war. A "softer" and "stealthier" case of each of these three types of warfare could be nuclear, chemical, or biological terrorism. Again the source could be an individual, a laboratory workers group, a terrorist group, religious zealots, governmental or international organization.

·         A grey goo scenario, in which self-replicating machines (often imagined to be nanomachines) get out of control and indiscriminately consume all kinds of matter in the process of building more replicas of themselves, eventually making earth inhospitable for biological life altogether.  

A note of caution - none of the above will impress the boss as a good reason for not turning up to work this week.
I wouldn't try to convert your local priest, pastor or rebbe either as that might see them leading you into A&E for a quick scan of the ol' brain box.

I'm the 75,260,954,420th* person ever born on Earth and I'm peeved because.....

Garden weeds don’t respond to verbal threats but require a show of strength

My bank balance refuses to grow during the night

The Tooth Fairy doesn’t pay out on broken fillings

Aussie kids are into professional begging on All Hallows Eve

Cardinal George Pell thinks religion trumps science

Australian Leader of the Opposition Tony Abbott won’t shut his mouth for even a nanosecond

Journalist Andrew Bolt hasn’t migrated yet

NSW Premier Barry O’Farrell is

NSW Environment Minster Robyn Parker refuses to resign

NSW Police still haven’t charged admitted law breaker Steve Cansdell

Every time some silly bugger doesn't like what the Gillard Government is doing they yell "Tax!"

Too many pollies resign after an election because they don't want to do the hard slog in Opposition

There are people who'll vote for the NSW Shooters and Fishers Party

Australian multinational corporations still haven’t learned that foreign CEOs like Alan Joyce have no understanding of the national psyche

North Coast Nats’ Chris Gulaptis doesn’t know where to find a definition of “truth in advertising” or “political honesty”

NSW Country Labor’s Peter Ellem is dancing around the subject of antimony mining on the NSW North Coast

NSW Christian Democratic Party’s Bethany Camac thinks it’s fine to insult some of the very people she supposedly wants to represent

AND

The ute won’t start

* What’s Your Number?

Orams Returns! (groan)

Click on image to enlarge

For a couple of months I've been receiving the occasional email alerting me to the fact that opinionated jerk journalist Graham 'the natural state for womankind is under the male of the species' Orams is once more gracing the pages of Grafton's The Daily Examiner.

First he dipped his toe back in local waters in letters to the editor columns, then he wrote one or two news and opinion pieces.

I tried to ignore his presence until (audible groan) this sentiment was published under his by-line on 17 November 2010:

Most people don't choose to be gay; although sadly, it has become somewhat trendy for straight women to indulge in lesbian sex, which I'm sure annoys genuine lesbians who fight hard for acceptance.

The Daily Examiner is once more in danger of becoming a newspaper to avoid if one is likely to break out in a rash when reading this sort of nonsense.

UPDATE:

At 3.56pm on 22 November 2010 I received an email from the risible Mr. Orams objecting to my use of a particular word in the "Orams Returns! (groan)" post seen above and threatening legal action if I did not remove this legitimate descriptive term found in English language dictionaries.

After I finished laughing uproariously I decided in this particular instance to oblige Mr. Orams, as he stated in the same email that he found being called 'opinionated', 'a jerk', acceptable.

Consequently I have replaced the original word with Mr. Orams' approved terms.

His additional emailed comments on his "dislike of radical feminism", the fact that he is "always extremely well-liked by women wherever I work" and his belief that he "may be many things but a misogynist is not one of them" I leave unaddressed.

Stuffin' letterboxes

Maud Up The Street is hopping mad - this week she found her letter box stuffed with advertising even though a "No Junk Mail" sign was clearly displayed.
What makes her even more annoyed is that of the 5 separate bits of bumpf lobbed at her by Woolworths, Aldi, The Reject Shop, Crazy Clarks and Cellarbrations - only one of these stores is in her local area. The rest are over 50 klms away.

Federal Election 2010: only women iron

A chapeau flourish to Malcolm Farnsworth at AustralianPolitics for uploading and Possum at Pollytics for spreading around this audio example of Tony Abbott's unrepentant chauvinism, which I cheerfully dedicate to all those Northern Rivers female free spirits who never iron!

Download Patriarchal Tony here.

Australi, austra, austri....dammit - Oztria!

Travel World website on 23 January 2010
Click on image to enlarge

General info about Australia
Once the center of power for the large Austro-Hungarian Empire, Austria was reduced to a small republic after its defeat in World War I. Following annexation by Nazi Germany in 1938 and subsequent occupation by the victorious Allies in 1945, Austria's status remained unclear for a decade. A State Treaty signed in 1955 ended the occupation, recognized Austria's independence, and forbade unification with Germany. A constitutional law that same year declared the country's "perpetual neutrality" as a condition for Soviet military withdrawal. The Soviet Union's collapse in 1991 and Austria's entry into the European Union in 1995 have altered the meaning of this neutrality. A prosperous, democratic country, Austria entered the EU Economic and Monetary Union in 1999.

I don't know who should be more insulted at this sloppy confusion - Australia or Austria.

Vehicles and beaches are not a good mix

The Daily Examiner on 11 January 2010
Click on image to enlarge

It's the height of summer once more and families with children are flocking to North Coast beaches for a day of sun and surf. Older residents are also seeking a little relief from the heat with a beach walk at the end of the day.

As usual the issue of vehicles driving onto and along the beach surfaces at this time of year, as is shown by the above opinion piece.

It always amazes me to see obviously healthy and otherwise active men take a four-wheel drive onto the beach, just so that they don't have to walk a mere quarter mile to set up their rods and reels for a little beach fishing.

However, what actually offends me is the sight of a carload of young adults, too lazy to use their legs, pelting down the beach on a bit of a sightseeing spree.

Old people, children and in leash-free areas the family pet (as well as the unwary tourist) are all expected to quickly move out of the way of these driving bullies.

At Minnie Water the curiously legless folk have even taken to using the beach as a carpark before they enter the surf.

Like the regular users of Pippi Beach at Yamba, I also get tired of the broken glass and dangerous mess (left behind after night time beach parties) which I am sometimes forced to skirt around on an early morning walk along local beaches.

It's no wonder that residents are becoming wary of going onto certain Clarence Valley beaches and permanently banning vehicles is being quietly discussed around more than a few dinner tables.

Update:

The Daily Examiner online comment gives Clarence Valley Council a hint.

Posted by yambaman from Yamba, New South Wales
12 January 2010 7:26 a.m.
Can't understand why Stafford Sheldon thinks he'll be unpopular for suggesting Pippi Beach be closed to 4 wheel drive vehicles, most of Yamba would agree - who wants the drunken yobbos driving on our beaches and leaving a mess behind, if they had to walk they'd drink at the pub!
Posted by janelle from Yamba, New South Wales
12 January 2010 11:37 a.m.
I absolutely agree with Stafford Sheldon and the comment above. I don't see why they have to drive onto the beach at all, ever. We apparently have an obesity problem so make them walk!!! And as far as leaving behind all that rubbish, well how hard is it to clean up after yourself. Shouldn't be allowed thru the tick gate I say.....
Posted by cherylmcc from Yamba, New South Wales
12 January 2010 7:23 p.m.
The 4 wheel drives are hazardous to people enjoying that part of Pippie Beach when they are gather speed for the climb back off the beach. A lot of families now use that part of the beach especially with the holiday units just across the road, maybe when it was decided to allow access to these vehicles at this part of the beach it was not used as much then. There should be a review of who uses the beach by the council before someone is hurt . Plus it is not a very very long beach that they have access to so what is the point of them going down there.
Posted by Popeye from Yamba, New South Wales
12 January 2010 7:30 p.m.
I hate it when people leave rubbish behind. I'm always picking it up when I walk around so that Yamba doesn't get like the Gold Coast. Have a look at the mess left on Hickey Is at the far end of Whiting Beach where people appear to have been camping and drinking heavily.

Where's a copper when you need him?

A mate was down in Yamba visiting rellies last week when he took a walk to the local shopping centre.
Being a bit slow on his pins he started to cross Treelands Drive at the point which has a pedestrian island in the centre of the road.
Without warning, a big semi headed for Bi-Lo supermarket crossed over to the wrong side of the road and travelled about five truck lengths before doing a wide turn into the Yamba Fair carpark entrance.
And truckies wonder why they have such a bad rep on the NSW North Coast....

When local government descends into politically correct insanity

Sometimes the email inbox holds the strange but true and last week was no exception as it spat out a little local government weirdness.
Now I'm not a cigarette/cigar/pipe smoker and generally agree that passive smoke concentrated in enclosed spaces isn't a good thing for people to breathe.
But even I think Clarence Valley Council has descended into madness by seeking to stop people smoking in quite a few council controlled public spaces that are often beside busy town roads and main roads which in the course of a normal day give off a steady flow of fine heavy metal particles which are known to be injurious to health when inevitably inhaled by pedestrians.
With barely a legal leg to stand on that isn't highly contestable as far as I can tell, it has adopted a Smoke Free Public Areas Policy which will:

restricting smoking in the following public outdoor areas on Council owned or managed land:

􀂃 Within fifteen (15) metres of all children's playgrounds;

􀂃 Within fifteen (15) metres of all covered bus stops and taxi ranks;

􀂃 At Council playing fields, sporting fields, sports centres and at outdoor sporting facilities where active sport is being played;

􀂃 At all events run or sponsored by Council;

􀂃 At all patrolled beaches and public jetties; and

􀂃 Within fifteen (15) metres of Council owned building entrances, including, but not limited to, sports stadiums and centres, swimming pools, tennis courts, squash courts and community buildings.

For this purpose, a public area can be defined as an area set aside for public recreationon Council owned and/or managed land, including: children's playgrounds; covered bus stops and taxi ranks; public jetties; patrolled beaches; sporting fields; sports stadiumsand centres; public swimming pools; squash courts; tennis courts; croquet lawns; and community buildings.

This Policy does not apply to the following public areas:

􀂃 Public footpaths;

􀂃 Al fresco dining areas; and

􀂃 General parks, gardens and open spaces, including grassed areas behind and/oradjacent to patrolled beaches.

What happens if you're on a public footpath just outside a council-owned building entrance which fronts the path?? Good luck with trying to police this one, councillors! The cost of pursuing recalcitrant smokers through the court will far outweigh the possible $110 penalty council has been strangely silent about.

It's Samhain in the Northern Hemisphere......

.....with echoes of this time in the old Celtic calendar reduced these days to kids in ghoulish fancy dress trick or treating around their neighbourhoods.
However, 31 October is not celebrated as the last day of Autumn and the beginning of Winter in the Southern Hemisphere - so why has the local supermarket been tarted up with pumpkins and witches all week and why must I expect at least a few knocks on my door tonight from clueless Aussie kids loosely aping a now essentially American custom of sending kids out to threaten mischief and beg for lollies?
Double bah! and triple humbug!

Pic from Poor Reds