Drop the hanky

It's not so much a matter of simply asking who will be the new head honcho of lurks, perks and jerks in the dishevelled Liberal Party (of course, most of those needy, greedy buggers really require the public funding associated with their positions of public office because they're obviously down to their last bits of folding money), but rather how many of the sore losers now find that being in Opposition is simply too much of a burden.

Naturally enough, "family" now comes first, so rather than occupy the benches to the left of the Speaker, there'll be a rush to the exit doors because all of a sudden Family First is the flavour of the day.

How strange! Their altruism with respect to the public interest and the concept of the 'common good' was only applicable when they were in office.

Real democracy demands the government of the day is challenged by an opposition that is capable of being a genuinely viable alternative. The Lib AND Nat MPs who'll decamp as quick as a wink will say it all. Their commitment was self-centred.

Now, for something totally radical ... could all members of the Coalition who have no intentions of going the full distance to the next federal election on the Opposition benches please raise their hands right now.

Let's set one day aside in the New Year for all the by-elections. That'll assist the AEC - it can conduct all the fill-in-the-spots on one day. The savings in advertising and administrative costs will fund a new hospital.

Unfortunately, April Fools Day doesn't fall on a Saturday in 2008.