Brendan Nelson's 2008 space odyssey

Four days into his 'listening' tour Opposition Leader Brendan Nelson stopped writing entries in his diary from the road and replaced those coy internet observations with media links. 

No obvious explanation. However the puzzle was easily solved by exploring those links for days three, four and five.

Little Brennie has spun so far away from the shores of reality that he launched into the rarefied atmosphere of outer space and is now suffering the effects of oxygen deprivation.

It's 2008: A (Liberal) Space Odyssey.

 

Brendan knows that banks have hearts too and that they are as devastated as the families they turn out into the snow

"The consequences for Australia are many, but amongst them is that our growth, our economic growth is set to slow – currently just running at under four per cent and estimated by the Reserve to go closer to three per cent by 2009. We also know that most of our banks have found it necessary to increase interest rates beyond official movements from the Reserve, and the market share of banks has increased while that of other institutions, especially those relying on securitisation, has reduced as market share. And in our own country of course increases in rates of bad debt and of course repossessions.

I'd say my job I suppose and my privilege and my responsibility as the alterative Prime Minister of Australia, and a member of parliament, is frequently to balance good policy with the needs, aspirations and to give voice to everyday Australians. I only say, in relation to repossessions, having had some experience in my early life being directly involved with it on the receiving end, caring for families who were losing their homes and small businesses, that, and I know everyone in this room appreciates it but it is a gut wrenching experience. And I think anyone that suggests that it's not equally a significant experience for those who are the lenders misunderstands the nature of what you do and how many of you do it."

 

Then went on radio the next day and tried to spin what he told the bankers

"QUESTION:

Now, there's an interesting story in today's Daily Telegraph in Sydney and it quotes you virtually sticking up for the banks and I know what you were at a financiers meeting and you sort of said that people who do these expulsions have feelings as well, but I doubt whether it is a reasonable proposition to compare the emotional dynamics of those doing the expelling as to those expelled who don't have a place to live. Now have you backed the wrong horse here?

DR NELSON:

Well, look Leon in fact what I said was I was at Lowood which is an hour out of Brisbane earlier in the week and I was filling up a woman's car with petrol and she said, 'Brendan, I can only afford $30 worth, I've got to go and buy groceries, we've got kids to feed and we've got a home loan', and another woman while I was there by the way put $5 worth of petrol in the car. I said to the people in the finance sector: those are the people who are on the receiving end of the policies which you drive. And I was particularly angry about comments made by the Governor of the Reserve Bank which I criticised last week as being insensitive. What I also said yesterday, by the way, was that those people who are actually in the end are foreclosing on people's homes in this environment where interest rates are going up, they also have a difficult job. But you're absolutely right. I mean I spent 10 years of my life working with families who are losing their homes and there's no comparison."

 

The Coalition only stands candidates for its own benefit O.K. - b**ger the voters

"Well look the only thing that I will say is that every member of parliament elected in November last year has a responsibility to his or her electorate to work as hard as they possibly can for them. I'm not going to contribute to any speculation about the future or otherwise of any member of parliament.

As far as Gippsland is concerned, the normal processes of the Liberal Party, and the Victorian division of the Liberal Party, are already in train. We will do what is best for the people of Gippsland and we will do what is best for the Coalition."

 

Somewhere in the backroom of the Liberal Party organisation there is sure to be an echo of this conversation occurring right now, as Malcolm Turnbull waits to suit up for his own interstellar journey.

 

Dr. Frank Poole: Well, whaddya think?
Dave Bowman: I'm not sure, what do you think?
Dr. Frank Poole: I've got a bad feeling about him.
Dave Bowman: You do?
Dr. Frank Poole: Yeah, definitely. Don't you?
Dave Bowman: [sighs] I don't know; I think so. You know of course though he's right about the 9000 series having a perfect operational record. They do.
Dr. Frank Poole: Unfortunately that sounds a little like famous last words.
Dave Bowman: Yeah? Still it was his idea to carry out the failure mode analysis experiment. Should certainly indicate his integrity and self-confidence. If he were wrong it would be the surest way of proving it.
Dr. Frank Poole: It would be if he knew he was wrong. Look Dave I can't put my finger on it but I sense something strange about him.
Dave Bowman: [sigh] Still I can't think of a good reason not to put back the number one unit and carry on with the failure mode analysis.
Dr. Frank Poole: No - no I agree about that.
Dave Bowman: Well let's get on with it.
Dr. Frank Poole: Okay. Well look Dave. Let's say we put the unit back and it doesn't fail uh? That would pretty well wrap it up as far as HAL was concerned wouldn't it?
Dave Bowman: Well, we'd be in very serious trouble.
Dr. Frank Poole: We would, wouldn't we. What the hell could we do?
Dave Bowman: [sigh] Well we wouldn't have too many alternatives.
Dr. Frank Poole: I don't think we'd have any alternatives. There isn't a single aspect of ship operations that isn't under his control. If he were proven to be malfunctioning I wouldn't see how we'd have any choice but disconnection.
Dave Bowman: I'm afraid I agree with you.