Well, wonder no more. He's been reading The Incomplete Works of Joh the Great - the unpublished personal memoirs of the late (and great, as in fantastic) husband of Queensland's most famous pumpkin scone baker.
Speaking on Sydney radio 2UE this week, Nelson dropped a couple of pure Johisms, but the one that took the cake was his "Just (you) wait and see."
The Sydney Morning Herald's Alan Ramsay provides readers with extracts of Nelson's chat this week with 2UE's Mike Carlton.
Nelson was talking about speculation he is a seat-warmer for Malcolm Turnbull.
2UE's Mike Carlton: "The cruel speculation about you, you must read it every day, that you're merely a seat-warmer for Malcolm Turnbull, that you're there to absorb some of the blows of defeat, and eventually the party will flick you and toss the leadership to Turnbull. You're aware of that?"
Nelson: "Yeah, of course I'm aware of it. And it's nonsense. I've had people underestimating me for 20 years. I'm very determined in this. I've already started the process of policy reform. I'm very focused and determined that we will present an attractive alternative."
Carlton: "You've got to say that. And full marks to do you for saying it. But every time you talk to the Liberal Party, or you pick up a newspaper and read it - and it's there again in the papers this morning - poor old Brendan, lovely bloke, nice fella, we'll leave him in for a bit until it gets hard and then it'll go to Turnbull."
Nelson: "Well, you just watch and see. You'll see how we go. And Malcolm Turnbull is obviously an extraordinarily intelligent, capable and successful man … he's doing a terrific job as the alternative treasurer. But you just wait and see."
Earlier, this exchange took place:
Carlton: "Nice to talk to you. You're looking very spick and span at this hour of the morning. Up and at 'em and bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. How do you do it?"
Nelson: "Well, I am and every day. Firstly, it's important that you get up early, you get across what's happening in the news, and plan the day. And my mother always said that I should be neatly presented."
What other helpful advice did Nelson's mother give him? No doubt she also told him to wear clean underwear, just in case he gets hit by a bus.
Ramsey, at his best, added this gem:
God help us then if the Liberal Party leaves Brendan to muck along as leader. The man is trying, but he's got no idea. None at all. Neither do most of his colleagues or those who now fill the 70 taxpayer-funded staff positions with Nelson and his Opposition frontbench. At a staff meeting soon after the Coalition's defeat last November, party officials asked the 400-plus redundant ministerial staffers how many had previously worked in Opposition? Five raised their hands. Five!
The blind are leading the blind.
And, just for good measure, Ramsey included this:Nelson: "My mother rings me every second day. A cartoon, she'll say. 'I've seen your cartoon, I've read a story', and so on. I just say, 'Don't worry, Mum. We're going all right'."
Ramsey: No he's not, Mum. He's doing his best but the job is beyond him. When even old farts like me start to feel sorry for him, you have to accept your son has no chance of surviving, let alone winning. None at all.
Read the complete piece by Ramsey here.
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